Lots of time for reflection in retirement.
Lately, I've spent some time on that - maybe because I see my kids going through so much and I wonder how in the world my mom stood the four of us. I only have two, and there is something to grieve, at least I'm doing so, in everyday.
Sometimes I wonder what if - I'm sure most people do. Life didn't turn out like I planned - but whose does?
When I got in my mid twenties I began to think about old age, growing old alone, posterity, etc. And I wanted to be normal. You know, falling love, getting married, having children, growing old together, sitting on the porch surrounded by grandkids. Somewhat like described in "Steel Magnolias".
And there was someone paying me a lot of attention, so I just let go and let it happen. I fell in love, got married, but not the wedding I'd wanted. I had the children, and while raising kids is not for sissies, it was so much harder because I didn't really have a partner. Of course, a divorce came. And the kids are grown! There are grandchildren - right now all little boys and I don't really see two of them at all, the other two do visit, but none of them belong to a family unit with mom and dad. All these little boys being raised by single moms.
And there's a new one on the way - I hope it's a girl - but as long as it and my own baby are healthy - I'll be okay. My daughter is going thru a divorce and the soon to be ex is not the baby's father.
So - are the normal American family? From where I sit it looks like it - so few people marry any more - and multiple children with various parentage in a single woman led household seems to be the very normality of life in America.
Where do we go from here?
Hey - wasn't that a song - yep - in Buffy the Musical!!
