Saturday, November 5, 2016

An Eventful Week - First Published Mar 14 2014

An Eventful Week

What a week it has been!  Monday came and so did my first grandchild - Cameron Rondale Martin!   Honestly, I had no idea that my heart could ever swell more with love and pride, but it did.  It was a marvelous feeling, like falling in love, and I'm so very grateful.

Wednesday marked a milestone in my life that is bittersweet.  Amy mentioned it in her post that it would have been our Daddy's 77th birthday!  It's so hard to believe that he has been gone 19 years - and oh how I missed him more this week than I've ever known I could miss him.  

There have been so many days I wished I could just talk to him for a minute, could just hug him again, or see his sheepish grin when he'd got us and knew it.  But, when I went to meet Cameron on Wednesday and looked down into that little precious face, I thought about my Daddy.

Daddy was my first visitor in recovery after Renee was born.  He was a quiet man, but the conversation we had in those few minutes is etched forever in my brain and only this week, looking down into the face of my little grandson, did I really have a clue what my Daddy was feeling that day.  Long years of hard work, hopes and prayers  and his child had become a parent.   He got to see that two more times before he had to leave us - I am so grateful for that!

I know my Dad would be so very proud of Renee, Lynn, Meaghan and Austin!  Renee has graduated from college and gotten married, Meaghan has one year left of college, Lynn has become a father and Austin starts high school in August.  I can imagine he'd be beaming with a huge smile and pride and I hope all four of these kids know what a special treasure that man truly was, to his family and friends and to the world.  


I love you Daddy, now more than ever!

Remembering Those Lost This Year - First published Dec 7 2014

Remembering Those Lost This Year

I've meant to write this for awhile now, but it seems rather appropriate with the season we are in.  

In the last 14 months I lost three aunts.  I'd like to remember each of them today.

Last October my Mom's only sister (and sibling) passed away.  When I was a child and trying to become a young woman, I was the only niece on that side of the family as Amy was born when I was almost thirteen.  Martha Jean tended to spoil me some, in fact quite a bit.  Everytime we ever stopped to visit, she'd have something for me.  A purse she'd had made by a woman she worked with, hair barettes, and when I reached 11 or 12, she'd always have panty hose for me!  That had to be the coolest gift - Mom was not quite ready for me to cross that bridge, but Martha kept me in hose.  
There were times she and Mom would be on the outs - as only siblings can understand and will happen from time to time.  After Mom died, there wasn't but a handful of Saturday nights that Martha and I did not chat by phone.  The last three or four years neither of us could travel so we had not seen each other, but we always talked.  Thru those conversations we shared our lives and memories and filled in blanks for each other.  She encouraged me when Lynn was acting up and I reciprocated when Robbie was doing the same.  We cried together over good memories and bad things - like Robbie's motorcycle accident.  And we laughed - A LOT of laughing!  

We'd discussed the end as she knew it was near - and the last words I heard her say was "I love you Lisa Gayle".  She died the next day and I miss her everyday in this world.  It's a different miss than my Momma but I'd love to talk to her again.  Narry a Saturday night goes by that I don't think, after I'm settled in bed, that it's phone call time.

Last May, my cousin Mylinda called me to say that Bertha had been killed in a car wreck.  Bertha was my Uncle Kyle's wife, Kyle was one of my Dad's brothers.  I didn't know her as well as I now wished I had, but me and Kyle, well sometimes we didn't get along too well.  What I remember most about Bertha was her describing the first time she saw Kyle walking down the street.  She loved that man with all she had and that's all that matters to me.  And Kyle could put a person through some hell, forgive me and may his soul rest in peace, but the truth is the truth!  Her love and devotion puts her on  a high shelf with me and I only wish I'd stayed in touch with her more.  Facebook is pretty amazing in one aspect - we had reconnected and shared a few things, including pictures.  One of her sisters has moved into The Towers and we've become friends and have shared and I feel very blessed to have this opportunity to get to know Bertha better.

In June, my aunt Betty died, after a similar battle to Martha's complicated by cancer.  Betty was married to Harry, my Dad's youngest brother.  They were only about 8 years old than me - more like older siblings.  I was 14 when they married so Betty was around for all of the hard stuff a young person goes through.  There were a lot of times she offered encouragement without comdemnation and for that I'll eternally be grateful.  Sometimes,  a person needs someone to not pass judgement!

Betty and Harry got a new Cobra II around 1976 or so - it was white with the blue markings - just perfect!  And a four speed?  Maybe, something manual.  Anyway, I was getting to driving age and bless Betty's heart, she tried to teach me.  Now, anyone who knows my past knows I was a horrible driver for years and it wasn't her fault I just couldn't grasp it at all, but she tried, right out on Nolensville Road in that Cobra.   I'm not sure anybody else knew that until today??

By the time I graduated from high school, they'd had Mylinda and Jeremy and were very busy.  But I still saw them pretty often, Betty would invite us for soup and chili - she sure made a mean pot of both and the best cornbread I've ever eaten.  When I had the big wreck, Betty and Harry came to Stallworth to see me.  They brought potato soup and cornbread!  YUMMY!

The only time I remember Betty being anything less than 100% in my corner was when I got engaged.  And even then, she only said "I can't be happy for you".  And when the time came that the marriage ended, etc.  she didn't say "I told you so".  Betty was a kind and generous soul and I'm glad to have known and loved her.

This time of year lots of things come to mind - Christmas's past and Christmas's future (especially since I have grandchildren now) but in this Christmas present I'd like to remember the ones who left this year and what they meant to me!


Challenge to Pray - first posted Sept 5 2015

Challenge to Pray

My post yesterday was inspired by all the rhetoric I hear about Mexicans and Muslims and how they are ruining our country.  I don't agree with that at all - but I was led to share some personal thoughts on prayer.

The Islamic faith dictates prayer at least 5 times per day and each prayer ritual is from 10-15 minutes in length.  So for the sake of my pending argument, let's go with 5 x 10 and count 50 minutes per day in dedicated prayer.

Even though I say a prayer in the morning and something longer in the evening and a few sentence prayers through the day, "Give me strength", etc. I don't come close to spending 50 minutes a day praying.  

So today I am challenging myself and all of you to spend at least 50 minutes a day in prayer.  Earnest prayer - where you really talk to God and let him communicate to you!  Pray sincerely - not just words but what's really on your heart.  Praise Him for who He is, all powerful and omnipotent.  Confess your sins asking for forgiveness and fortification not to repeat them.  Thank Him for everything He's provided, including this world we live in.  Ask for what you need.  

I just think if we'd all spend at least 50 minutes a day praying, we could really see some changes.  If nowhere else but in our own lives, which will in turn, change the world.



Friday, November 4, 2016

Reflections - First posted Dec 31 2-15

Reflections
The time between Thanksgiving and New Years is always a time of reflection for me. It starts when I think about everything I have been and am thankful for in my life, carries thru the Christmas spirit and on to New Years, where I don’t make resolutions so much anymore but set goals and try to improve life for me and those around me.
2015 was a fairly difficult year for me and most of the ones I love. There has been more than our share of sickness, yours truly spent 104 days in VUMC or Richland Place Rehabilitation Center trying to shake a MRSA infection in my bloodstream. I didn’t look as sick as I felt, I hope, but it was nasty and I’m glad it’s behind me. I am very thankful for the medical treatment and PT and OT for getting me back on a tolerable path.
A couple of days ago I thought I had this new year coming in figured out, at least what I was going to be doing for most of it. There are still some primary goals, finish the kid’s scrapbooks, continue to purge and downsize, a couple of new pieces of furniture I want to buy. But, there are a few more changes I plan to make, no definite plans yet, but I had an epiphany yesterday about myself and what I deserve that is a game changer.
I think my point is that although John Mellencamp said “life goes on, even after the thrill of living is gone” it is up to each of us to put the thrill back in our lives. Stay tuned!

A wonderful, safe and healthy New Year to each and everyone of you!

We Pray for Children

We Pray for Children
This was written by Ina J. Hughes and published in 1995. My first exposure to it was in a training at the YMCA and I was asked to read it out loud. Parts of it were easy - other parts - and you’ll know which ones - were heart wrenching and I could barely get thru them. I made it, but not without tears and not without my heart forever being changed to the children of this world and their plights.

We pray for children who sneak popsicles before supper,who erase holes in math workbooks, who can never find their shoes.
And we pray, for those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire,who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers, who never "counted potatoes," who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead ,who never go to the circus ,who live in an X-rated world.
We pray for childrenwho bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions, Who sleep with the cat and bury goldfish, Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money, Who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink, Who slurp their soup.
And we pray for thosewho never get dessert, who have no safe blanket to drag behind them, who watch their parents watch them die,who can't find any bread to steal, who don't have any rooms to clean up, whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser, whose monsters are real.
We pray for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday, who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food, who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the bed,and never rinse out the tub, who get visits from the tooth fairy, who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool, who squirm in church or temple and scream in the phone, whose tears we sometimes laugh atand whose smiles can make us cry.
And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime, who will eat anything, who have never seen a dentist, who aren't spoiled by anybody, who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep, who live and move, but have no being.
We pray for children who want to be carried and for those who must,for those we never give up on and for those who don't get a second chance. For those we smother…and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.
We pray for children. Amen


Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Mr. Miller

A little over a week ago, someone very near and dear to my heart left this earthly world for greater things.  So much has gone thru my mind, so many memories and things I felt like sharing, just not sure of how to do that.  A Facebook note seemed too cold and I've more to say than my fingers could write in a card to his family, so a new blog post made sense.  I've not posted for over two years, so bear with me as I get my feet wet again!

The Furkins family and the Miller family first met sometime around the end of 1969 or 1970 when my Mom and Mrs. Miller were both working at JCPenney's in 100 Oaks Mall.  Our families have remained friends all these years, thru graduations, weddings, births of grandchildren and great-grandchildren, failures, successes, heartaches, a couple of divorces and deaths.  You got to think - 47 years of life, that's what it was.

In 1978 after I graduated from high school, I intended to pursue a college degree but needed a summer job.  Life and Casualty Insurance was hiring part time folks for the summer gig and I'd applied at my high school, only to miss the announcement of impending interviews and showed up at school in jeans and sneakers.  The interview didn't go too well, I didn't get hired and was told there were no more positions.  Remember it was 1978, professional attire WAS the standard.

Sometime that week the Millers and Furkins were visiting and Mr. Miller asked if I'd gotten hired.  He seemed perplexed when I told him they said there were no more positions but he didn't really say much.  The next day though I got a phone call from the hiring person in Personnel who asked me at least five times how I knew Mr. Dave Miller and finally told me to come in the next day for another interview.  I was hired and was set to start the next week in Mr. Miller's department, known then as The Register Department.   And that hiring person never liked me, EVER.  She left the company about 15 years later, not related to me at all.

On Monday I fearfully, scared to death it was, went to my first day on the job.  I was assigned to the Weekly Premium unit in Register, none of these words meant a thing to me.  I saw Mr. Miller and waved at him but he was very busy and just kept walking.

As the week went on and I'm still fumbling like a freshman football player whose feet had never touched the sod, I found out two things.  Most of the department feared Mr. Miller and, because they'd been told I knew him, feared me.  No one talked to me, I ate lunch with my supervisor and had not made a single friend the whole week.  I was still too scared to care at that point.

As time went on, I learned more and more, tried college for a week, but went back to work.  I moved from unit to unit in the department, I had made some friends and finally a couple of them told me no one wanted to talk to me because I knew Mr. Miller.  ????  I just didn't understand because the Mr. Miller I knew wasn't anything like what they thought of him.

As my knowledge of everything L&C grew, so did my realization of Mr. Miller.  He was an extreme professional and consummate perfectionist.  If you were going to do it, do it right!  To me this was normal, God knows I wish I had a dollar for every time my mother had said this.

My interaction with Mr. Miller was fairly limited until I moved to the Reinstatement unit.  If we had any problems with AGNIS (just go with it) Mr. Miller was the expert.  Sometimes, you'd have a huge problem and not know it - Mr. Miller would come looking for you.  I remember him coming to the door of his office and asking my Unit Leader "Who is desk 630?" or whatever desk number he was looking for; I was desk 630!!  More than once I'd have to take my problem child into his office and let him review what I'd one and give me the instructions for fixing it.  During this time, don't speak.  He could plainly see what you'd done wrong and didn't need an explanation.

It was during this time that I realized NO ONE in the building knew AGNIS like he did, NO ONE knew Registers like he did and he had a lot of responsibility on his plate.  BUT, if you listened to him and heeded his directions, you could learn A LOT!!

By this time, I'd been at the company about four years and we'd been thru several conversions.  One of the side effects of the latest was that there were many masters to build (creating a policy record in AGNIS for a life insurance policy that had missed conversion).  One day he comes by my desk and I have all these green coding forms out - I have about 20 masters to build that day and at that time, we hand coded them for keying by a unit in Electronics (what IT was called in the 70's and 80's).

He asked me what I was doing and I told him about to build all these masters and he said "Come over here".  We went to a CRT - back then we had three for the unit - no PC's yet!!! - and he showed me how to build a master in the system WITHOUT writing up twelve pages.  I never hand coded a master again, AND, my knowledge of AGNIS developed exponentially under his tutelage.

A year or so later, I ended up moving to Policy Changes, a big step up for me.  I know I could have not made that change at that time without Mr. Miller' direction and education.  We would not work directly together again, BUT, I would see him from time to time on my floor looking for that desk number that inevitably screwed something up!!  It was almost always one particular person and she loathed him, but only because she didn't listen to him and learn from him.

When AGLA, as we became to be known, was going thru yet another conversion to Vantage, I was working as part of the technical analyst team.  I was assigned the Register interface and to my delight, Mr. Miller had written the business requirement documentation for the interface.  He'd just retired and I would leave before the conversion was ever complete, but it felt like old home week when I'd gotten my assignment and began to prepare.

I know that I was raised with a strong work ethic, but I want to say that working for Mr. Miller only strengthened that foundation and in helping me gain the knowledge, gave me the confidence to move up and on in the company.

One day, it was so so cold outside and several of us were riding the elevator up at the same time.
Mr. Miller asked us where our hats were - we didn't have on hats - could not mess up our perms and poofs - but he told us we'd stay a lot warmer if we'd were hats and just grinned at us!

He could be standing right next to someone and slip off without them knowing or one of the secretaries would be trying to find him for a phone call or question - he was around but you'd just never hear him.  So, that year for Christmas the secretaries got him a cow bell to wear!  It was quite funny and he laughed the hardest about it.

There are many more memories that will come to me over the next few months I'm sure, I just remember him so fondly and with so much respect.  Thank you Mr. Miller for all you taught me, not only about life insurance, etc. but your example on living a good life!!




Monday, July 4, 2016

Don't let Bitterness Get A Root

First, it took me awhile to figure out how to get back to this blog.  I have been wanting to blog about a lot of things and couldn't get the right combo to get to this page.  Seems I set up two gmail accounts at some point???

All that being said, I reviewed some of the last posts I'd written and dismay with myself set in.  I have let a bitter root take hold in my heart.  I can see that from my post "Weight of the World".  I think it's mostly because I've let one very bitter angry person have too much time in my life and that I can fix today.

I know I will feel much better if I shed that weight and go back to being my jovial happy self!!