Starting to feel a little rush here - I tend to do this to myself quite a bit. I think I must thrive on the anxiety!
Actually, I have this history project I've been working on for close to 2 years. Quite honestly, I've avoided it the last few months because I became disillusioned with the original mission and sponsor. But, with an August 31 deadline looming, I have no choice now but to get this thing done.
So today, I'm trying to make myself spend sometime every day working on it. My goal now is to get it out of my hair, but, I can't just do a half-ass job at it! See why I'm feeling the pressure. BUT, if I go ahead and get it done, I can devote more time to the things I've having fun with - like the class reunion stuff and the new book club starting in the neighborhood!
I've really got to make a list of my chores for the next few months and priortize them - or I'll never get retired!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Happiness is a State of Mind
I've been thinking alot lately about being happy. I think I may be about the happiest I've ever been in my life now.
Not to say there were not special days that can't be matched - like the days my babies were born, their first days in school, watching Renee enter the auditorium at graduation.
And, not to say there aren't still a few things that disturb me daily. Lynn is not back home fulltime, but I am hopeful and he will be one day and hopeful that he has a bright future ahead of him.
But, on a day to day, hour to hour, basis, I am happy, and I am proud of the fact that I've reached this point. I have reached a point of not being afraid to say no, and not worrying about saying exactly what I think. That does not give me a license to be mean, but, I am free from holding back and being miserable about it.
And I see the future - I'm not sure what it holds - but I'm fully expectant that it is there. I'm not scared of it and I dare to let my mind dream of the possibilities. Realizing I still had dreams and they can happen - well, the last of the shackles of despair slipped off and I've truly found myself again.
I feel like a whole new life is starting and I'm excited about it!
Not to say there were not special days that can't be matched - like the days my babies were born, their first days in school, watching Renee enter the auditorium at graduation.
And, not to say there aren't still a few things that disturb me daily. Lynn is not back home fulltime, but I am hopeful and he will be one day and hopeful that he has a bright future ahead of him.
But, on a day to day, hour to hour, basis, I am happy, and I am proud of the fact that I've reached this point. I have reached a point of not being afraid to say no, and not worrying about saying exactly what I think. That does not give me a license to be mean, but, I am free from holding back and being miserable about it.
And I see the future - I'm not sure what it holds - but I'm fully expectant that it is there. I'm not scared of it and I dare to let my mind dream of the possibilities. Realizing I still had dreams and they can happen - well, the last of the shackles of despair slipped off and I've truly found myself again.
I feel like a whole new life is starting and I'm excited about it!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
I just love Kid Rock!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know how bad he is BUT I still love him! There's just something about a tall skinny bad boy blondie that gets my attention, even at 48 years old, like nothing or nobody else.
Don't have an explanation for it, it's just what moves me.
Now Kid Rock has this new song out - a really cute summer time song - starts off with the music of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" and switches to Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama". The only thing that makes this song not the anthem of my youth is where he says "summer of 89" and my summer was 79!! Well, 80, 81, 82, 83... you get the picture!
Really catchey arrangement and just a good remember when song for the summer - hope you get a chance to hear it soon! If you pass me in traffic I'll be the one with it cranked up singing along at the top of my lungs!
If I could just find a 1979 Buick Regal to drive!!
AND, I've added it to my blog songlist so you listen for yourselves! See if it doesn't make you smile and remember someone or something a little special from your younger days!
Don't have an explanation for it, it's just what moves me.
Now Kid Rock has this new song out - a really cute summer time song - starts off with the music of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" and switches to Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama". The only thing that makes this song not the anthem of my youth is where he says "summer of 89" and my summer was 79!! Well, 80, 81, 82, 83... you get the picture!
Really catchey arrangement and just a good remember when song for the summer - hope you get a chance to hear it soon! If you pass me in traffic I'll be the one with it cranked up singing along at the top of my lungs!
If I could just find a 1979 Buick Regal to drive!!
AND, I've added it to my blog songlist so you listen for yourselves! See if it doesn't make you smile and remember someone or something a little special from your younger days!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Fresh Produce
I've joined a CSA - community supported agriculture - and our first food delivery was yesterday.
Pretty neat idea, you pay a membership fee, in this case $25.00 and that's payable once a year. You then get a weekly delivery of fresh produce and/or meat and eggs for a weekly fee. The minimum with this group is $20.00 for 1/4 bushel of fresh produce. That is what I started with, but I'm sure I will increase my order!
Yesterday the truck arrived at the newly renovated Coleman Park Community Center. The folks delivering were extremely nice and everything went really smooth, especially for the first time for a drop in this location. Several of my neighbors and friends were participating, so we were all there to take possession of our boxes.
My box included a good nice mess of green beans, about 10 new red potatoes, 6 summer squash, one large onion, 2 large bunches of green onions, about 10 green cucumbers and 4 lemon cucumbers! And a pint of blackberries!!
All very good quality and extremely fresh. I snapped the beans and put them on, got a blackberry cobbler in the oven, and make onion/cucumber salad to marinate in the fridge. Everything else I put in ziplocs for use today and thru out the week. The potatoes I scrubbed up and put on top of the green beans to cook.
I should probably be ashamed to say that I had 3 cucumbers and a huge serving of blackberry cobbler for supper! And, I had a huge serving of cobbler for breakfast! It's been years since I had fresh blackberry cobbler and I'm not sure I've ever had any better than what I made last night.
Renee got home from work after 10:00 PM - she had a bowl of the green beans and potatoes and said they were so delicious she was about to eat them all!
I can add one serving of meat and 1 dozen eggs to my haul for $10.00 more - which is probably what I'll do next week. This week, the folks that got meat got pork chops.
The meat raised, beef, pork, lamb and chickens, are all free range. No pens, no corn feed, they graze and mingle as livestock should. No antibiotics or steroids and the vegetables are grown organically without pesticides.
Most interestingly, Good Morning America did a segment this morning on CSA's and that you actually save money over the course of a year, besides getting better food products and supporting your local economy. I have much more to say on this issue - another blog, another day!
Pretty neat idea, you pay a membership fee, in this case $25.00 and that's payable once a year. You then get a weekly delivery of fresh produce and/or meat and eggs for a weekly fee. The minimum with this group is $20.00 for 1/4 bushel of fresh produce. That is what I started with, but I'm sure I will increase my order!
Yesterday the truck arrived at the newly renovated Coleman Park Community Center. The folks delivering were extremely nice and everything went really smooth, especially for the first time for a drop in this location. Several of my neighbors and friends were participating, so we were all there to take possession of our boxes.
My box included a good nice mess of green beans, about 10 new red potatoes, 6 summer squash, one large onion, 2 large bunches of green onions, about 10 green cucumbers and 4 lemon cucumbers! And a pint of blackberries!!
All very good quality and extremely fresh. I snapped the beans and put them on, got a blackberry cobbler in the oven, and make onion/cucumber salad to marinate in the fridge. Everything else I put in ziplocs for use today and thru out the week. The potatoes I scrubbed up and put on top of the green beans to cook.
I should probably be ashamed to say that I had 3 cucumbers and a huge serving of blackberry cobbler for supper! And, I had a huge serving of cobbler for breakfast! It's been years since I had fresh blackberry cobbler and I'm not sure I've ever had any better than what I made last night.
Renee got home from work after 10:00 PM - she had a bowl of the green beans and potatoes and said they were so delicious she was about to eat them all!
I can add one serving of meat and 1 dozen eggs to my haul for $10.00 more - which is probably what I'll do next week. This week, the folks that got meat got pork chops.
The meat raised, beef, pork, lamb and chickens, are all free range. No pens, no corn feed, they graze and mingle as livestock should. No antibiotics or steroids and the vegetables are grown organically without pesticides.
Most interestingly, Good Morning America did a segment this morning on CSA's and that you actually save money over the course of a year, besides getting better food products and supporting your local economy. I have much more to say on this issue - another blog, another day!
Monday, June 16, 2008
It's takes a special man to be Daddy
Years ago, around 1980 or so, I bought a little wooden plaque at the Hallmark store on Church St. (near the L&C building) that said "Any man can be a father, it takes a special man to be a Daddy". On the plaque there were some assorted miniature tools - quite fitting for my Dad - and it was his Father's Day present that year.
I've still got that plaque - in the cedar chest where the things that have no other use but are too dear to my heart to do away with. I thought about it while watching the news last night and the piece on Barack Obama's address to the church in Chicago.
He said basically the same thing somewhere along these lines - any fool can be a father - the real courage is shown by staying and raising the child'. He was referring to the number of children whose "fathers are MIA" and he directly said it was especially in African American families.
I know he's right, he knows he is right and I hope that what he says is taken for what he meant it to be - a call to arms to stop this madness and move toward restoring family units and strengthening them. Bill Cosby said something very similar a few years back - about got himself lynched by his own race.
I'll vote for Obama - I am that much of a Democrat - and while I've been a Hillary girl for years - I will vote for Obama. Right now, it's looking like I may really like him by November.
I've still got that plaque - in the cedar chest where the things that have no other use but are too dear to my heart to do away with. I thought about it while watching the news last night and the piece on Barack Obama's address to the church in Chicago.
He said basically the same thing somewhere along these lines - any fool can be a father - the real courage is shown by staying and raising the child'. He was referring to the number of children whose "fathers are MIA" and he directly said it was especially in African American families.
I know he's right, he knows he is right and I hope that what he says is taken for what he meant it to be - a call to arms to stop this madness and move toward restoring family units and strengthening them. Bill Cosby said something very similar a few years back - about got himself lynched by his own race.
I'll vote for Obama - I am that much of a Democrat - and while I've been a Hillary girl for years - I will vote for Obama. Right now, it's looking like I may really like him by November.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Father's Day
My dad was a character. Man of few words, but when he spoke no one (well, except Mom) contradicted him or questioned him. Whatever he had said was just the way it was going to be and that was that.
I remember sometime the summer of 1988 - either 4th of July or Labor Day, that part doesn't matter - I was pregnant with Renee and we were all at Mom and Dad's. We decided to cook out, which meant a trip to the store, a trip to my house to get the big grill, a trip to Larry's for something and I remember saying we'll (referring to me and the ex) do whatever we were about to do.
Before we could get started my Dad walked in and said, "well, you do this and you do that, etc" and realigned all of the jobs. No one said a word and everyone got busy, except me! He'd realigned everything so that I was left sitting on the couch without a task. And while I'm thinking "Man I should be doing something!" my Mom asked me if I'd realized who he'd left sitting. That was all she said, all she needed to say!
When Renee was born the next winter, Daddy didn't come to the hospital when they induced me or anytime during the almost 23 hours that followed. He said he'd done his time and Ronnie (the ex) would just have to do his! But, somewhere around 5:00 AM when they decided I was about to be an emergency C-section, and Mom called him, she said he must have been up and dressed because she thought he appeared in front of her before she hung up the phone!
Later in recovery when they only let folks in one at a time, I was a little surprised to see my dad come around the curtain first. I didn't know he was there at all! He didn't say too much, except that she was beautiful, but not the prettiest little girl he'd ever seen! He hugged me and told me he loved me, then he scooted right out!
He's been gone almost 13 years, but everyday of my life I remember something about him, something he said, something he didn't say (he never said I told you so, even when he could have!), remember his strength, drive and determination. I love you Daddy!
I remember sometime the summer of 1988 - either 4th of July or Labor Day, that part doesn't matter - I was pregnant with Renee and we were all at Mom and Dad's. We decided to cook out, which meant a trip to the store, a trip to my house to get the big grill, a trip to Larry's for something and I remember saying we'll (referring to me and the ex) do whatever we were about to do.
Before we could get started my Dad walked in and said, "well, you do this and you do that, etc" and realigned all of the jobs. No one said a word and everyone got busy, except me! He'd realigned everything so that I was left sitting on the couch without a task. And while I'm thinking "Man I should be doing something!" my Mom asked me if I'd realized who he'd left sitting. That was all she said, all she needed to say!
When Renee was born the next winter, Daddy didn't come to the hospital when they induced me or anytime during the almost 23 hours that followed. He said he'd done his time and Ronnie (the ex) would just have to do his! But, somewhere around 5:00 AM when they decided I was about to be an emergency C-section, and Mom called him, she said he must have been up and dressed because she thought he appeared in front of her before she hung up the phone!
Later in recovery when they only let folks in one at a time, I was a little surprised to see my dad come around the curtain first. I didn't know he was there at all! He didn't say too much, except that she was beautiful, but not the prettiest little girl he'd ever seen! He hugged me and told me he loved me, then he scooted right out!
He's been gone almost 13 years, but everyday of my life I remember something about him, something he said, something he didn't say (he never said I told you so, even when he could have!), remember his strength, drive and determination. I love you Daddy!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Rainy Saturday
Is there just anything better than waking up hearing the rain on a morning you don't have to get up? It's the best nap ever, to just fade back into darkness with the rain gushing thru the gutter, the house still dark because it's cloudy, everybody else still knocked out, including the cat! I slept for over 2 hours like this today and it was wonderful!
I was aware, very briefly, that the rain was coming down harder a couple of times. And, when I've finally gotten up and made myself a pot of coffee and fed the cat, the kids are still sound asleep, the cat has gone back to sleep, and I don't know what to do with myself. I may even get back in bed for another nap!!
Seriously, I've got some organizing, etc. to do today. I had planned to clean carpets - that may be out - not sure. Renee has to be at work in a little over an hour so the silence here is about over. Lynn will drag out soon and fuss about how empty the fridge is!
So, I get to enjoy the computer a little longer with nobody snorting around like they're just waiting for me to get off so they can check their myspace or email!! Damn cat!
I was aware, very briefly, that the rain was coming down harder a couple of times. And, when I've finally gotten up and made myself a pot of coffee and fed the cat, the kids are still sound asleep, the cat has gone back to sleep, and I don't know what to do with myself. I may even get back in bed for another nap!!
Seriously, I've got some organizing, etc. to do today. I had planned to clean carpets - that may be out - not sure. Renee has to be at work in a little over an hour so the silence here is about over. Lynn will drag out soon and fuss about how empty the fridge is!
So, I get to enjoy the computer a little longer with nobody snorting around like they're just waiting for me to get off so they can check their myspace or email!! Damn cat!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)