It Still Hurts

Tomorrow is the date my daughter's baby boy, Loki, was due to be born.

Today I got up and the tears started, it hurts no less today than it did on May 8 when she told me the baby's heart had stopped.  And no less than May 9 when she had a surgical procedure to remove her baby boy.  And no less than everyday since then.

Oh, as Nena I've got other grandsons to love on.  But I missed seeing Loki, or getting to know him.  Sharing with him, laughing when he did things I would have spanked Renee for doing, teaching him little things like I'm his mommy's mommy - that's always fun to teach children.

But the worst thing of all is to see my baby still hurting like she does.  Tomorrow will be a hard day for her, she's not planning on working, and I hope she can find some peace somewhere, if only for a few hours.

Maybe, in her grief, she can find some solace.  Right now she's 11 weeks pregnant and things look good so far.  Oh Lord, please don't let my baby be heartbroken again.  Lord please let this baby make it to be born and both of them be okay, I pray so hard and everyday for this.  and I cry, lots of big momma tears, like my baby's cried.