The headlines in Nashville last night and today are all about a 17 month old baby boy, brought to the hospital dead, weighing only 10 lbs. They said he died from malnourishment and hypothermia, the power had been off in his apartment for a couple of weeks. His 31 month old sister is being treated for the same diagnoses and should recover - right now she is in DCS custody.
The father is in jail, the mother, whom did not have custody, but had visited just last week is not, yet. I hope she is arrested too - there is no way a 10 lb 17 month old could be deemed right in anybody's opinion.
I feel very bad about this - too bad to even cry. I remember my babies at 17 months - both of them were bubbly, laughing, running everywhere, trying to talk, playing with their toys and each other, keeping me busy but being just pure joys. I wonder if this child could even walk because of his low weight and other problems that had to be there from the malnourishment? Did he ever smile? I can imagine the hollow look his eyes must have held.
If his parents didn't feed him or be sure he was in a warm environment, did they hold him and nuzzle him? Did he know he was loved? Was he even loved?
I am reminded of a song Pat Benatar did several years ago - the last line of the chorus says "And you shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh". This little fellow paid with his whole life.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Stress
Stress is a funny thing - well not really! I just continually realize that stress is a killer. For me, I've realized it's the underlying fear I have of what is about to happen next and how bad it can get. The uneasiness that something, anything, is about to blow up in my face and I won't have a solution or I won't like the only solution. And, there is no reason to do this to myself! Life is life, there are going to be bad days, and I proclaim to have faith in God and his plan for us. He has never forsaken me, no matter how bad something feels, and I've always been carried thru these times to triumph. So why do I let it get to me?
I suppose I could say that the other humans that have to be part of my problems, well, I have no control over what they will say or do. But, I'm not supposed to. Today I will have more faith, let my faith cover me, and stay prayed up! Maybe that lump will then leave my throat! I sure hope so.
I suppose I could say that the other humans that have to be part of my problems, well, I have no control over what they will say or do. But, I'm not supposed to. Today I will have more faith, let my faith cover me, and stay prayed up! Maybe that lump will then leave my throat! I sure hope so.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Warmer Days Ahead
This week it has been too too cold here! The temp was in the teens a couple of mornings - sure does make it hard for these bones to get up and move around. I ended up going out everyday though, to work and other errands. Thursday was an extrememly busy day and when I hobbled in that evening - I took three ibuprofen and went to sleep. I slept until 8:42 Friday morning - a good indication of just how tired I was since I'm usually awake by 6:00.
The weather forecast this morning says warmer and wetter than usual for February - which sounds pretty good to me. I don't care for hard driving rains, but I can tolerate the rest. At least, maybe it won't be in the teens again.
I was thinking, that little furry critter will make an appearance next Saturday. I know it is just folk lore - he's what? 70% wrong - but I always hope he doesn't see his shadow and the thought of spring looming on the horizon gets me thru February.
The weather forecast this morning says warmer and wetter than usual for February - which sounds pretty good to me. I don't care for hard driving rains, but I can tolerate the rest. At least, maybe it won't be in the teens again.
I was thinking, that little furry critter will make an appearance next Saturday. I know it is just folk lore - he's what? 70% wrong - but I always hope he doesn't see his shadow and the thought of spring looming on the horizon gets me thru February.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Retrospect
Well, yesterday's post was rough - I'll admit it - but I won't apologize for it.
Today is a holiday to celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King. I've been doing some reading online this morning, it amazes me that there is always more to the story and I never cease to find out new facts everytime I spend some time reading about history, but particularly today, about civil rights history.
It's no secret to any of you who know me that I am a die hard Democrat. I have to admit, I have voted Republican twice in the past but I can't see that ever happening again. And, I'm not a flaming liberal who just thinks anybody can do what they want regardless. I am pretty conservative in my personal life, I just think there's a limit to how far you can tell me how to live, or what you can attempt to force down my throat! One of my friends coined this phrase recently, it was the first time I'd heard it, but I agree 1000% - "stay out of my uterus, stay out of my bedroom".
The point being - I am and have always been a big fan of President Jimmy Carter. I've read several of his books - his work on civil rights, particularly voting rights, in the 60's was incredible. The stories he recalled - makes me proud that the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Acts were finally enacted - and embarassed that such things happened prior to and since them that even required such legislation.
Renee has a history class this semester in college that she is finding amazingly informative. It covers only a short period of time, during the 1800's up to Reconstruction. But, in doing so, goes far deeper than any history class she's ever had. It's great to see her embracing it so much. And, with her ethnicity, to witness the awakening in her that pretty much all segments of her background have been discriminated against in some way (with the exception of the white man) - well it makes me wonder how she will use this knowledge in her life and her life's work.
True knowledge of facts and history is the old way our kids can lead us into the future. Never stop reading, researching, and educating yourself in the truth!
Today is a holiday to celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King. I've been doing some reading online this morning, it amazes me that there is always more to the story and I never cease to find out new facts everytime I spend some time reading about history, but particularly today, about civil rights history.
It's no secret to any of you who know me that I am a die hard Democrat. I have to admit, I have voted Republican twice in the past but I can't see that ever happening again. And, I'm not a flaming liberal who just thinks anybody can do what they want regardless. I am pretty conservative in my personal life, I just think there's a limit to how far you can tell me how to live, or what you can attempt to force down my throat! One of my friends coined this phrase recently, it was the first time I'd heard it, but I agree 1000% - "stay out of my uterus, stay out of my bedroom".
The point being - I am and have always been a big fan of President Jimmy Carter. I've read several of his books - his work on civil rights, particularly voting rights, in the 60's was incredible. The stories he recalled - makes me proud that the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Acts were finally enacted - and embarassed that such things happened prior to and since them that even required such legislation.
Renee has a history class this semester in college that she is finding amazingly informative. It covers only a short period of time, during the 1800's up to Reconstruction. But, in doing so, goes far deeper than any history class she's ever had. It's great to see her embracing it so much. And, with her ethnicity, to witness the awakening in her that pretty much all segments of her background have been discriminated against in some way (with the exception of the white man) - well it makes me wonder how she will use this knowledge in her life and her life's work.
True knowledge of facts and history is the old way our kids can lead us into the future. Never stop reading, researching, and educating yourself in the truth!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Brain Damaged People
Yes it is - this morning it was 11 degrees with a wind chill of 1! Needless to say, I will not be sticking my nose outside today. In fact, I slept in, watched the CBS Morning Show and Face the Nation, then napped for another hour before Lynn finally made so much noise I had to get up.
Now that I'm up and puttering around, he's gone back to bed! Go figure!
I said this many times, but males are brain damaged. It's scientifically proven and there's no doubt, but I seem to have been blessed with the most brain damaged ones around. When I was married to Lynn's dad, he had this habit of coming in and turning on the hall light. Didn't matter what time of night it was - and the light and my bed was positioned so that it shown right in my face. Can you imagine the rage you can feel about the 100th time that happens and you've asked him repeatedly NOT to do it? I always thought the big idiot was scared to walk down the hall in the dark, then I decided he was just being mean.
Well, the little idiot in my house has the same problem. To leave his bedroom and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he turns on his bedroom light, opens the door which hangs and is loud, turns on the hall light, steps into the bathroom and turns on that light, then closes the door. Now, the space from his bathroom door to the toilet is maybe 5 feet - at the most - clear pathway - no furniture or anything to run into. God forbid he needs a drink of water, because that means the kitchen/dining lights come on. And guess what, they shine right in my face!!
Now I've raised this one - tried repeatedly to teach him better and literally haved worked myself to death to try and make him a better person. You know what? I've failed! And you know why? They just can't help their stupid selves! He cannot see why I have a problem nor understand why it matters and is just appalled when I finally blow my stack.
Now, for comparison sakes, I walk about 12 feet to the bathroom with one really bad foot and leg and a cane and never turn on a single light nor bump into anything, and usually 3-4 times a night.
Rest assured, realizing Lynn's dad is brain damaged does not give him any slack or less disgust from me. I just don't get it!
I remember something from "Boy Meets World" I think quite appropriate here. Tapanga was all into her feminine power, etc. She said men should be confined to cells underground and only used for breeding purposes to continue the human race. That's where I am today!
Now that I'm up and puttering around, he's gone back to bed! Go figure!
I said this many times, but males are brain damaged. It's scientifically proven and there's no doubt, but I seem to have been blessed with the most brain damaged ones around. When I was married to Lynn's dad, he had this habit of coming in and turning on the hall light. Didn't matter what time of night it was - and the light and my bed was positioned so that it shown right in my face. Can you imagine the rage you can feel about the 100th time that happens and you've asked him repeatedly NOT to do it? I always thought the big idiot was scared to walk down the hall in the dark, then I decided he was just being mean.
Well, the little idiot in my house has the same problem. To leave his bedroom and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, he turns on his bedroom light, opens the door which hangs and is loud, turns on the hall light, steps into the bathroom and turns on that light, then closes the door. Now, the space from his bathroom door to the toilet is maybe 5 feet - at the most - clear pathway - no furniture or anything to run into. God forbid he needs a drink of water, because that means the kitchen/dining lights come on. And guess what, they shine right in my face!!
Now I've raised this one - tried repeatedly to teach him better and literally haved worked myself to death to try and make him a better person. You know what? I've failed! And you know why? They just can't help their stupid selves! He cannot see why I have a problem nor understand why it matters and is just appalled when I finally blow my stack.
Now, for comparison sakes, I walk about 12 feet to the bathroom with one really bad foot and leg and a cane and never turn on a single light nor bump into anything, and usually 3-4 times a night.
Rest assured, realizing Lynn's dad is brain damaged does not give him any slack or less disgust from me. I just don't get it!
I remember something from "Boy Meets World" I think quite appropriate here. Tapanga was all into her feminine power, etc. She said men should be confined to cells underground and only used for breeding purposes to continue the human race. That's where I am today!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Time is Flying
Can you believe it's already January 17? It seems like yesterday I was posting about New Year's Eve!!
Renee will be 19 next Tuesday. That seems so hard for me to believe - turning 18 was a huge milestone, she was a senior, times were so exciting that the reality of it did not hit me. Now that she's about to be 19, it is sinking in big time that my child is grown. Without my permission, she could buy cigarettes, get married, join the military - none of which I'd be happy about right now.
I think she has seen and understands the dangers and health risks of smoking - both of my parents smoked and her dad smokes. Gasping for breath is no fun way to live. I don't think she's ready to get married, but if she did, what could I say? And, the military is not Renee's style - that's a relief.
But she'll be 19! That's not possible - just yesterday they brought me a little baby that needed her first bottle. Thank God her grandmother was there with me - I wasn't sure what to do at that point and was overwhelmed. Dorothy said "Do you want me to try?" and she gave Renee her first bottle. The bond between them is strong and I truly believe it is grounded in that moment.
Lynn is seventeen and while we are still struggling, he came in last night to my room, sat on my bed, and just bared his soul on a few things I had no idea about. I didn't know what to say, mostly just reassured him, cautioned him to slow down - life doesn't have to be lived at 90mph, and hoped when it was all over he knew that I loved him desperately and would do anything to see him be content with himself.
At the end of the day, when you've talked heart to heart with your children and they've both declared their love for you, what can be wrong in your world? I am the luckiest woman in the world!
Renee will be 19 next Tuesday. That seems so hard for me to believe - turning 18 was a huge milestone, she was a senior, times were so exciting that the reality of it did not hit me. Now that she's about to be 19, it is sinking in big time that my child is grown. Without my permission, she could buy cigarettes, get married, join the military - none of which I'd be happy about right now.
I think she has seen and understands the dangers and health risks of smoking - both of my parents smoked and her dad smokes. Gasping for breath is no fun way to live. I don't think she's ready to get married, but if she did, what could I say? And, the military is not Renee's style - that's a relief.
But she'll be 19! That's not possible - just yesterday they brought me a little baby that needed her first bottle. Thank God her grandmother was there with me - I wasn't sure what to do at that point and was overwhelmed. Dorothy said "Do you want me to try?" and she gave Renee her first bottle. The bond between them is strong and I truly believe it is grounded in that moment.
Lynn is seventeen and while we are still struggling, he came in last night to my room, sat on my bed, and just bared his soul on a few things I had no idea about. I didn't know what to say, mostly just reassured him, cautioned him to slow down - life doesn't have to be lived at 90mph, and hoped when it was all over he knew that I loved him desperately and would do anything to see him be content with himself.
At the end of the day, when you've talked heart to heart with your children and they've both declared their love for you, what can be wrong in your world? I am the luckiest woman in the world!
Friday, January 11, 2008
11 Days In
Well, we're 11 days into 2008. So far, I'd like to think things were going a little better. I did manage to get a little further this month financially than I've been able to do for awhile. That has been a blessing.
Both of the kids are back in school - Renee has an 18 hour courseload this semester and Lynn is back at Glencliff. So far, so good!
I believe this will be a year of major changes in and for my family. Some may not be so good, but I'm looking forward to a couple of them being just awesome. More on those later!
So far I'm working on my goals - just inching forward actually - but working on them none the less.
Today is my Grandmother's birthday - she would be 88 years old taday! She's been gone 12 years, but I still remember so many stories about her. She was a pistol, to say the least. Even now, I can see some of her in the great grand-kids - more Lynn and Meaghan and sometimes I'm not sure if it's their age or Grandma, but time will tell if they don't grow out of some of this stuff!
Later Gator!
Both of the kids are back in school - Renee has an 18 hour courseload this semester and Lynn is back at Glencliff. So far, so good!
I believe this will be a year of major changes in and for my family. Some may not be so good, but I'm looking forward to a couple of them being just awesome. More on those later!
So far I'm working on my goals - just inching forward actually - but working on them none the less.
Today is my Grandmother's birthday - she would be 88 years old taday! She's been gone 12 years, but I still remember so many stories about her. She was a pistol, to say the least. Even now, I can see some of her in the great grand-kids - more Lynn and Meaghan and sometimes I'm not sure if it's their age or Grandma, but time will tell if they don't grow out of some of this stuff!
Later Gator!
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