I made it to church this morning - I used to never miss a Sunday but now it seems that the devil and my knees are in cahoots so I'm not always there.
It's always so refreshing to see my church family and be greeted so warmly. I love them all and some of them are very special people in my life.
One of those shared with me today that she is having surgery for lung cancer on Wednesday. I was floored and my eyes filled with tears. She squeezed my hand and I felt like everything was going to be fine, which I said "Everything will be fine" and she responded "I know it will".
As the service began, our guest speaker relayed a story about his brother, his point being this statement and theme for the morning - "You never know faith until that is all you have". Pretty intense don't you think?
I looked back over the years of my life and realized that more than once I felt like I had nothing in this world but my faith. I did have more of course, my kids and family, but for a few days the only thing that got me out of the bed was faith. It is those times that God tests us, we learn to persevere so we can see glory one day, and our faith grows, as it should.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
I Just Don't Get NASCAR!
I told Renee today this was tomorrow's blog - but - I'm home alone (well the idiot cat is here) and I don't have anything else to do but play on the computer so I'm blogging twice in one day!
I don't get NASCAR at all! Today there was a race on and I looked at it for a few minutes trying to see what all the hoopla is about. I mean, I've lived within 3 miles of the racetrack in Nashville for 30+ years, you'd think I'd understand, but I don't. I did see an incredibly awesome wreck - well, that may be the wrong word. But, it looked surreal to me. Having been in a few too many wrecks, I don't want to see that. Brings back too many horrible memories and I never ended up skidding down the road on my roof!!
There are a couple of wanna be race car drivers living down the street from me. Oh, they've gone all out and built a garage in their back yard, widened the driveways, and have the trailers to haul their junk car on, I suppose they're about to hit the big time.
Every Saturday, minimally, they're out working on the car I suppose they're planning on driving somewhere that night in a race. Now, I really don't get this one. They rev up the engine over and over and over again. I just don't get it. And, I'll bet if you drove by, their head is cocked to the side listening. Hell, I'm three blocks up the street sitting on my deck and I can tell the engine is out of time. It's missing like one of those kids on the milk carton, again, that's a bad choice of words, but it goes on and on and on. Even if the car happens to be running right, they continue to rev the engine until I'm ready to scream.
Can anybody make me understand?
I don't get NASCAR at all! Today there was a race on and I looked at it for a few minutes trying to see what all the hoopla is about. I mean, I've lived within 3 miles of the racetrack in Nashville for 30+ years, you'd think I'd understand, but I don't. I did see an incredibly awesome wreck - well, that may be the wrong word. But, it looked surreal to me. Having been in a few too many wrecks, I don't want to see that. Brings back too many horrible memories and I never ended up skidding down the road on my roof!!
There are a couple of wanna be race car drivers living down the street from me. Oh, they've gone all out and built a garage in their back yard, widened the driveways, and have the trailers to haul their junk car on, I suppose they're about to hit the big time.
Every Saturday, minimally, they're out working on the car I suppose they're planning on driving somewhere that night in a race. Now, I really don't get this one. They rev up the engine over and over and over again. I just don't get it. And, I'll bet if you drove by, their head is cocked to the side listening. Hell, I'm three blocks up the street sitting on my deck and I can tell the engine is out of time. It's missing like one of those kids on the milk carton, again, that's a bad choice of words, but it goes on and on and on. Even if the car happens to be running right, they continue to rev the engine until I'm ready to scream.
Can anybody make me understand?
My Myspace
Yes - I have a Myspace! I started it after a fight last year at my kids' school with the intention of keeping up what the kids were doing. But, it's taken it's own life for me.
I've reconnected with high school buddies and expanded my friends to include some of the kid's friends, added folks I work or have worked with, and have a host of music industry icons as friends.
It's fun seeing what you can do with the layouts - I'm not really good at that but I'm working on it.
I have this new thing on there - it's a playlist of some of my favorite songs. It's got close to 40 on there - and I didn't add any Beatles, Bon Jovi, or Ozzy yet!!
The best thing on there, to me, today, is the collaboration between Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kid Rock on "Gimme Back My Bullets"! What could be any better than the #2 and $3 sexiest man alive - Kid Rock and Johnny Van Zant (NO ONE will ever replace Jon Bon Jovi as #1)- singing my almost favorite Skynyrd song!
Renee had a good laugh at me and said I needed to calm it down - I was singing in Kid Rock fashion, but I had earplugs in - she could only hear me!!
So - get yourself a Myspace - and be my friend - or checkout my page at www.myspace.com/lisafurkinsmartin. If nothing else, enjoy my playlist of songs!
I've reconnected with high school buddies and expanded my friends to include some of the kid's friends, added folks I work or have worked with, and have a host of music industry icons as friends.
It's fun seeing what you can do with the layouts - I'm not really good at that but I'm working on it.
I have this new thing on there - it's a playlist of some of my favorite songs. It's got close to 40 on there - and I didn't add any Beatles, Bon Jovi, or Ozzy yet!!
The best thing on there, to me, today, is the collaboration between Lynyrd Skynyrd and Kid Rock on "Gimme Back My Bullets"! What could be any better than the #2 and $3 sexiest man alive - Kid Rock and Johnny Van Zant (NO ONE will ever replace Jon Bon Jovi as #1)- singing my almost favorite Skynyrd song!
Renee had a good laugh at me and said I needed to calm it down - I was singing in Kid Rock fashion, but I had earplugs in - she could only hear me!!
So - get yourself a Myspace - and be my friend - or checkout my page at www.myspace.com/lisafurkinsmartin. If nothing else, enjoy my playlist of songs!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
There are Worse Things!
I mentioned this in last post - providing a list of worse things than not liking the person your child has a romantic interest in - here's a few of my thoughts!
1. Going to see your child in a physical rehabilitation hospital and seeing them lifted from a wheelchair to the exercise platform and having their limbs moved by the therapists because they've been in a car wreck and are paralyzed from the neck down.
2. Taking your child for another round of blood tests, hoping the last round of chemo has made some difference.
3. Watching your child struggle with an addiction to drugs or alcohol, knowing that the hurt you feel can't compare to the hurt they're feeling behind the self-medication.
4. Buying flowers on special occasions for your child, and delivering them to the cemetary.
5. Trying to console a child who is heartbroken because they've been rejected because of some physical attibute (hair,size,skin color)that makes no difference at all.
6. Watching a son/daughter leave on that airplane bound for harms way when they are part of the military fighting for our freedoms.
7. Answering the door to see a police officer or a uniformed military officer standing alone and asking if you are the mother of your child.
8. Signing in at the prison on Sunday for family visitation day.
9. Watching your child struggle because of decisions you made that were messed up. Don't think it doesn't happen because it does.
10. Outliving your child for any reason - it's not part of the natural order of things and forces you to make decisions no parent should ever have to make.
1. Going to see your child in a physical rehabilitation hospital and seeing them lifted from a wheelchair to the exercise platform and having their limbs moved by the therapists because they've been in a car wreck and are paralyzed from the neck down.
2. Taking your child for another round of blood tests, hoping the last round of chemo has made some difference.
3. Watching your child struggle with an addiction to drugs or alcohol, knowing that the hurt you feel can't compare to the hurt they're feeling behind the self-medication.
4. Buying flowers on special occasions for your child, and delivering them to the cemetary.
5. Trying to console a child who is heartbroken because they've been rejected because of some physical attibute (hair,size,skin color)that makes no difference at all.
6. Watching a son/daughter leave on that airplane bound for harms way when they are part of the military fighting for our freedoms.
7. Answering the door to see a police officer or a uniformed military officer standing alone and asking if you are the mother of your child.
8. Signing in at the prison on Sunday for family visitation day.
9. Watching your child struggle because of decisions you made that were messed up. Don't think it doesn't happen because it does.
10. Outliving your child for any reason - it's not part of the natural order of things and forces you to make decisions no parent should ever have to make.
Monday, April 21, 2008
What We Say vs. What We Really Mean
These two things should always be equal - in the world of a parent, they may not be. In the world of a parent of a teenager, well, it's dicey!
I think I've mentioned in many posts that my marriage was to a black man. I don't say African American, any more than I call myself British American or German American. His ancestors were here longer than mine and he's less "African" than the Pope so why would I call him that? I don't mean disrepect to those who have migrated to this country in the last 2-3 decades from Africa - they are African American - nor to the Pope!
But to my point - I'm having a problem understanding why a white parent of a white female child could be so vicious and vehemently against her child's relationship with a young black man. There seems to be no explanation for it other than racism - a word I don't normally use. This young man comes from a good family, he's very good looking, soft spoken and a good student. He adores the young woman in question, and she feels the same way about him.
What should have been one of the happiest memories of their lives - the Senior Prom - will not be. He was allowed to pick her up, but had to endure a tongue lashing from this mother in the meantime. They went to the Prom, where she ended up crying most of the night, did Senior Walk together although she'd been advised to walk alone by her grandmother and at the end of the night, agreed not to see each other any longer bacause of the pressure from her family.
There is no rhyme or reason here. These are people I've know for years, and while my child feels violated because she thought they had accepted her, and they still insist that they do - how can that be? Because my child didn't have a choice? Please don't pity her! She is a bright, beautiful, brown skinned woman who knows who she is, says what she means, means what she says, and has already exhibited more tolerance for your inconsideration, prejudice and ignorance than you are capable of understanding.
I will say this - there are far worse things for your teenager to "succumb to" than being attracted to someone of a different race, and far worse things for a parent to
endure than tolerating this relationship. If you need a list, I can provide one - check my next post!
You can kid yourself about what you're saying, but believe me, you are not kidding your kids. They see right thru you, to the real you. Make sure you can face the consequences that will come when what you say and what you really mean are not in sync, they will not be nice or pretty.
I think I've mentioned in many posts that my marriage was to a black man. I don't say African American, any more than I call myself British American or German American. His ancestors were here longer than mine and he's less "African" than the Pope so why would I call him that? I don't mean disrepect to those who have migrated to this country in the last 2-3 decades from Africa - they are African American - nor to the Pope!
But to my point - I'm having a problem understanding why a white parent of a white female child could be so vicious and vehemently against her child's relationship with a young black man. There seems to be no explanation for it other than racism - a word I don't normally use. This young man comes from a good family, he's very good looking, soft spoken and a good student. He adores the young woman in question, and she feels the same way about him.
What should have been one of the happiest memories of their lives - the Senior Prom - will not be. He was allowed to pick her up, but had to endure a tongue lashing from this mother in the meantime. They went to the Prom, where she ended up crying most of the night, did Senior Walk together although she'd been advised to walk alone by her grandmother and at the end of the night, agreed not to see each other any longer bacause of the pressure from her family.
There is no rhyme or reason here. These are people I've know for years, and while my child feels violated because she thought they had accepted her, and they still insist that they do - how can that be? Because my child didn't have a choice? Please don't pity her! She is a bright, beautiful, brown skinned woman who knows who she is, says what she means, means what she says, and has already exhibited more tolerance for your inconsideration, prejudice and ignorance than you are capable of understanding.
I will say this - there are far worse things for your teenager to "succumb to" than being attracted to someone of a different race, and far worse things for a parent to
endure than tolerating this relationship. If you need a list, I can provide one - check my next post!
You can kid yourself about what you're saying, but believe me, you are not kidding your kids. They see right thru you, to the real you. Make sure you can face the consequences that will come when what you say and what you really mean are not in sync, they will not be nice or pretty.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
So You Think You Know It All
As parents, don't we think we know it all? We sure do, I mean we brought these kids into the world so we take exclusive ownership of every moment of their lives. Now, with an infant that works just fine and it absolutely necessary. Actually, it's not us 100% - what about the baby that cries no matter what you do? I had one of those - he and I were both wore out, but that's a whole other story, probably a book.
The point I'm trying to make is, when they are in-utero and beginning at birth, we control every move. Where they are at, what they eat, what they wear, what they have to wear, when and where they bathe (we bathe them), we buy it all and take care of it all. Somewhere around age 5-6 my kids started to take their own baths - supervised of course and then moved on into shower range about 7. I have to pat myself on the back here - one of my acquaintances still bathes her daughter is almost 9. Do I have to say I think that is bizarre if not, almost, perverted? (Bet my phone rings on this one!)
We begin letting them choose what they wear, and who they'll play with at school. We let them choose their lunches at school while we maintain control over breakfast and supper - unless we give them the choice of the hamburger or chicken nuggets if we go to McDonalds.
I have a point, please bear with me and continue reading.
As they grow, our job as parents is to let them begin to make decisions, guiding them, talking and teaching. Our goal is to get them to be self-sufficient, find something they have a passion for to spend their live's work doing, and hoping they find happiness in a relationship and have as few hard times as possible.
Then, we, the know it all parents, become the hardest time they'll probably ever have! Does this make sense? No, but we call it parenting and justify to ourselves that we are still 100% in control of this person's life. We decide we don't like the person they are dating, or the way they wear their hair, or how fast they drive, or the radio station they listen to, just name it because there is a parent somewhere right now fussing about the color of their child's nail polish.
And, it's during these times that some of us (not me, remember, I"m the expert here!) say things to our child that are utterly ridiculous. Why on earth would you tell your child they are a disappointment to you? You can say "I'm disappointed in the choice you are making", that's different and doesn't hurt feelings because it's not a personal attack.
I want to be the last person on earth who makes my child cry - they will meet plenty of people who will make them cry, some will be loved ones, some will be someone they think they love, and some will be ornery persons just looking to hurt someone, but Mom, well she's supposed to be above the rest.
Stay tuned, there's more to this tangent!
The point I'm trying to make is, when they are in-utero and beginning at birth, we control every move. Where they are at, what they eat, what they wear, what they have to wear, when and where they bathe (we bathe them), we buy it all and take care of it all. Somewhere around age 5-6 my kids started to take their own baths - supervised of course and then moved on into shower range about 7. I have to pat myself on the back here - one of my acquaintances still bathes her daughter is almost 9. Do I have to say I think that is bizarre if not, almost, perverted? (Bet my phone rings on this one!)
We begin letting them choose what they wear, and who they'll play with at school. We let them choose their lunches at school while we maintain control over breakfast and supper - unless we give them the choice of the hamburger or chicken nuggets if we go to McDonalds.
I have a point, please bear with me and continue reading.
As they grow, our job as parents is to let them begin to make decisions, guiding them, talking and teaching. Our goal is to get them to be self-sufficient, find something they have a passion for to spend their live's work doing, and hoping they find happiness in a relationship and have as few hard times as possible.
Then, we, the know it all parents, become the hardest time they'll probably ever have! Does this make sense? No, but we call it parenting and justify to ourselves that we are still 100% in control of this person's life. We decide we don't like the person they are dating, or the way they wear their hair, or how fast they drive, or the radio station they listen to, just name it because there is a parent somewhere right now fussing about the color of their child's nail polish.
And, it's during these times that some of us (not me, remember, I"m the expert here!) say things to our child that are utterly ridiculous. Why on earth would you tell your child they are a disappointment to you? You can say "I'm disappointed in the choice you are making", that's different and doesn't hurt feelings because it's not a personal attack.
I want to be the last person on earth who makes my child cry - they will meet plenty of people who will make them cry, some will be loved ones, some will be someone they think they love, and some will be ornery persons just looking to hurt someone, but Mom, well she's supposed to be above the rest.
Stay tuned, there's more to this tangent!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
It's Prom Day! (again)
Yes - today is Prom Day at my house! Renee graduated last year, but her boyfriend is a senior this year so they are going. My nieces and one of their cousins will be here about 3:30 - the girls are all getting dressed here today. Amy will come about 3:30 or 4:00 with the steamer and the camera!! And, at least three other couples will be here between 5:00 and 6:00 to all admire each other and get pictures before they leave for the evening. And there'll be a mirage of parents who come to - I'm so glad the lawn got mowed on Thursday!! I'll post pictures here and on myspace later on.
I'm so glad that Renee has had a crew of friends that feel comfortable here and want to be here. One of her friends said yesterday something I take as a great compliment - she said I was the funniest person she'd ever known and I cracked her up everytime she saw me. I know this little girl (well, she's almost 20 but she's still a little girl to me) has had a rough time. I can't imagine trying to stand up under the burdens she has bore, but she does it smiling. I'm glad that even if it's only for a little while I make her laugh and maybe give her something to hold onto when the hours get tough.
Lynn's friends have liked being here too - for awhile every morning there had been a new overnight guest. Some of those boys have had some serious problems and there've been a few I've tried to ban from the house - without much luck usually. But I hope they thought of this as a safe place to lay down and sleep and get something to eat, even if Lynn's mom was going to fuss at them about leaving dishes in the living room and make them take the trash out when they left.
If you have kids, please please please try to make your home welcoming and inviting and a place your kids want to bring their friends. You never know when something you say or do may help in some small way for them to see a light at the end of a tunnel or encourage them to keep trudging on, no matter how hard their path is. And you'll be surprised at how much you'll learn from them (like how to do the Soldier Boy!) and how much they may bring to your life.
I'm so glad that Renee has had a crew of friends that feel comfortable here and want to be here. One of her friends said yesterday something I take as a great compliment - she said I was the funniest person she'd ever known and I cracked her up everytime she saw me. I know this little girl (well, she's almost 20 but she's still a little girl to me) has had a rough time. I can't imagine trying to stand up under the burdens she has bore, but she does it smiling. I'm glad that even if it's only for a little while I make her laugh and maybe give her something to hold onto when the hours get tough.
Lynn's friends have liked being here too - for awhile every morning there had been a new overnight guest. Some of those boys have had some serious problems and there've been a few I've tried to ban from the house - without much luck usually. But I hope they thought of this as a safe place to lay down and sleep and get something to eat, even if Lynn's mom was going to fuss at them about leaving dishes in the living room and make them take the trash out when they left.
If you have kids, please please please try to make your home welcoming and inviting and a place your kids want to bring their friends. You never know when something you say or do may help in some small way for them to see a light at the end of a tunnel or encourage them to keep trudging on, no matter how hard their path is. And you'll be surprised at how much you'll learn from them (like how to do the Soldier Boy!) and how much they may bring to your life.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Angry Doesn't Begin to Cover It
I had a major anger meltdown yesterday - so bad that my face was beet red and my head tingled for an hour. I'm sure if I'd looked, my eyes were as green as the grass. They are normally hazel, but in extreme anger change to a deep green.
It had been a long long time since I was that angry and the reason was just ridiculous! I have some unresolved issues stemming from my relationship with my ex-husband and I do not handle being told anything by most men, especially if it comes at me in a condesending manner or if it implies that I have no choice in what I'm about to have to do. I got hit with two of these situations back to back yesterday in a span of about 5 minutes. The combination of the two left me so angry that I couldn't even speak to Amy when she called.
I left the place I was at and once I was driving down the road with the wind blowing in my hair, I calmed down enough to call Amy and apologize. I finally calmed down enough to cuss both of them several times, not to their faces, but to get it out of my system, I think.
I suppose if the truth was known, when I experience this kind of situation, I should dial up Ronnie Martin and cuss him out!
It had been a long long time since I was that angry and the reason was just ridiculous! I have some unresolved issues stemming from my relationship with my ex-husband and I do not handle being told anything by most men, especially if it comes at me in a condesending manner or if it implies that I have no choice in what I'm about to have to do. I got hit with two of these situations back to back yesterday in a span of about 5 minutes. The combination of the two left me so angry that I couldn't even speak to Amy when she called.
I left the place I was at and once I was driving down the road with the wind blowing in my hair, I calmed down enough to call Amy and apologize. I finally calmed down enough to cuss both of them several times, not to their faces, but to get it out of my system, I think.
I suppose if the truth was known, when I experience this kind of situation, I should dial up Ronnie Martin and cuss him out!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Class Reunion
I graduated from high school almost 30 years ago! Doesn't seem possible to me but it has been that long! I've chatted back and forth with a few classmates about a reunion - one of the girls I graduated with has got us a date and a location!! We'll get together soon and make more plans - it's exciting to me to think about reconnecting with folks from back in the day!
Rather than just a "Class of '78" reunion, it's being billed as a ALL YEARS 70 thing. I like that - even though I graduated in 1978, I knew lots of people in the 76, 77, 79 and 80 years. I even go a little into the 80's because of my younger brothers - so I like the idea of including as many people as possible.
So many of the clothing styles that are popular right now are exactly what we were wearing in 1978! That makes it even more fun - we can go retro and not look crazy!!
I'm sure this will be blog subject for months to come! Wonder if I could lose 200 pounds before September??
Rather than just a "Class of '78" reunion, it's being billed as a ALL YEARS 70 thing. I like that - even though I graduated in 1978, I knew lots of people in the 76, 77, 79 and 80 years. I even go a little into the 80's because of my younger brothers - so I like the idea of including as many people as possible.
So many of the clothing styles that are popular right now are exactly what we were wearing in 1978! That makes it even more fun - we can go retro and not look crazy!!
I'm sure this will be blog subject for months to come! Wonder if I could lose 200 pounds before September??
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