OK - after all of the time I've sworn I would not give the man a nickel's break on what he owed me, I decided to sit down and recalculate child support.
I went back to the time I'd left him, calculcated the original amount I'd ask for of $100.00 per week - more than reasonable, but he said $400.00 per month was a lot of money!!!. I even reduced it to $50.00 per week after Renee graduated from high school. Added up to November 11 this year when Lynn turns 18, added the costs of their insurance premiums which I was granted by the court, and reduced it by not only what he has paid thru the courts but what he paid me before I got the court order. That whopping amount was $300.00 in 18 months!!
I didn't charge him the extra $20.00 per week I got in court because he declined any visitation with the kids. I didn't add up all the copays and deductibles I'd paid thru the years either.
Anyway, after all of that, the amount was $19,500 - about 10 grand less than what the state says he owes. But, I'll take it IF it means I never am forced to deal with him ever again.
BUT, guess what? Yep - he says that's too much and he's choosing just to forget it and not pay anything. And do you know how much that frickin idiot asshole paid this week - a whole $5.00 - yes FIVE DOLLARS!
If I'm ever forced to have to speak to him, he's always handy to tell me he's looking forward to the day that Jesus says to him something like 'well done good and faithful servant, enter into the gates of heaven.' Gives me the chance to remind him that first St. Peter's going to ask if he paid all of his child support! Shuts him up real quick!
I really believe there is a special place in hell for men like him!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Reminiscing
I've mentioned the class reunion coming up. As that time nears, I'm starting to feel a little stressed, but that's my personality on wanting everything to be picture perfect. I'm working on letting that go.
I did get my yearbooks out last weekend - an old friend from school who has remained a family friend for 30 years came over and we were discussing the reunion, etc. It was great fun to look at the yearbooks, and I've done so over and over, because everytime I look at them I'm remembering something I'd either totally forgotten or realizing something I'd never noticed, can't decide which on that. But it has been fun remembering people and updating on what we know about who.
One of the inevitables is that a lot of our folks have shuffled off this mortal coil in the last 30 years. In fact, just last week, two persons I remember well passed. One of them no word on what happened, not even a funeral service. On the other, we heard it was a heart attack. Kinda scary, but given our age, very probable, and especially given that heart disease is the leading cause of death among women, mostly because we think we're not the ones.
One thing I have rather enjoyed is this - looking at the pictures of us in those great 70's clothes and hair styles, earth shoes, wide belts and ties - well - in our faces you could see the future. I can still remember how it felt to be 17 or 18 and have the whole world laid out in front of me and feel like nothing was impossible. That feeling is why we go back, why we have reunions, and why we try to remember everyone and everything from those days - it's to recapture the way we were before the world's reality set in. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not on a downer at all, I'm just saying there is a time of innocence that we find ourselves longing for, if only for a moment, now and then.
And, while everything may not be picture perfect that night in my mind's eye, if each of us can catch up with an old friend, laugh, remember those days with a warm heart and sincere smile, then we'll have had great success. I just can't wait!!
I did get my yearbooks out last weekend - an old friend from school who has remained a family friend for 30 years came over and we were discussing the reunion, etc. It was great fun to look at the yearbooks, and I've done so over and over, because everytime I look at them I'm remembering something I'd either totally forgotten or realizing something I'd never noticed, can't decide which on that. But it has been fun remembering people and updating on what we know about who.
One of the inevitables is that a lot of our folks have shuffled off this mortal coil in the last 30 years. In fact, just last week, two persons I remember well passed. One of them no word on what happened, not even a funeral service. On the other, we heard it was a heart attack. Kinda scary, but given our age, very probable, and especially given that heart disease is the leading cause of death among women, mostly because we think we're not the ones.
One thing I have rather enjoyed is this - looking at the pictures of us in those great 70's clothes and hair styles, earth shoes, wide belts and ties - well - in our faces you could see the future. I can still remember how it felt to be 17 or 18 and have the whole world laid out in front of me and feel like nothing was impossible. That feeling is why we go back, why we have reunions, and why we try to remember everyone and everything from those days - it's to recapture the way we were before the world's reality set in. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not on a downer at all, I'm just saying there is a time of innocence that we find ourselves longing for, if only for a moment, now and then.
And, while everything may not be picture perfect that night in my mind's eye, if each of us can catch up with an old friend, laugh, remember those days with a warm heart and sincere smile, then we'll have had great success. I just can't wait!!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Child Support Hell
I'm sure any of you who've had to deal with child support could not have had a bigger idiot or asshole to deal with as I have - at least, I hope for your sakes you didn't.
The entire time I was married to him, he swore that he'd kill me dead before he'd pay me a dime. I've never decided for sure if that was one reason I stayed 10 years too long - could have been - but that's probably a book in itself.
Anyway, for the first year or so we were separated, I didn't do anything legal. Then, after my mom died I proceeded with divorce proceedings. Some of that was to keep him from calling her, etc., part was probably to spare her any added misery, and part was to spare me from both of them.
So, we go to court in November 2003 at which time I am awarded over $800.00 per month child support. He was driving a truck, making good money, and declined visitation with the kids (which gave me an extra $20.00 per week). He promptly left the courtroom, drove to his employer and quit his job!
To cut to the chase, I've collected about $6K the last two years from him - because the child support office has garnisheed everything they can. And, the monthly amount was reduced a couple of times because our daughter aged out and because he claims not to have any income at all now.
So, I am three months from my youngest child being 18 years old at which point the child support will stop accumulating. And, currently, he owes me over $29,000.00!!!!
And, it appears that he may actually be able to pay me off - not that he wants to or that he's not trying every way possible not to - in the fairly near future. He wants to settle for a lesser amount and call everything else even. In my mind, I might could agree to something, but my dollar amount and his will never mesh. One of my friends asked me why I'd even consider settling for a lesser amount - I have no answer for that. Except, that my mom said it best, I was stupid when I was with him. And, he's not cute, charming, or nice. Even Dr. Phil couldn't help that one!
AND, the kicker is - he wants to be able to dictate how the money is spent!! After 6 years of being alone all the time with the kids, him never taking them even for a day, 6 years of me being the one to do without so that they could have everything they needed and all they wanted I could afford to give them, 6 years of me working long hours, and multiple jobs, even after I went on 100% disability, 6 years of his judgmental degradation about any mistake Lynn makes but no accolades for either of them's accomplishments and successes. His comment to Renee was to make sure "your momma splits this money between you and Lynn"!
Is this man for real? Can you imagine how stupid I think he is - I won't be angry because I won't give him that control, but, the fact that after all these years he thinks I'm still stupid about him, in fact, he's banking on it, does chap my ass a bit! Then Amy says for me to be careful, if they make him pay me, he'll be over here trying to come back!! OMG - if anybody sees anything to make you suspect at all I've lost my mind, because that's what it would have to be, please please call the men in white coats and have me locked up!
Don't anybody get excited, or look for the postcard from the islands, I'll believe it when I see it!
The entire time I was married to him, he swore that he'd kill me dead before he'd pay me a dime. I've never decided for sure if that was one reason I stayed 10 years too long - could have been - but that's probably a book in itself.
Anyway, for the first year or so we were separated, I didn't do anything legal. Then, after my mom died I proceeded with divorce proceedings. Some of that was to keep him from calling her, etc., part was probably to spare her any added misery, and part was to spare me from both of them.
So, we go to court in November 2003 at which time I am awarded over $800.00 per month child support. He was driving a truck, making good money, and declined visitation with the kids (which gave me an extra $20.00 per week). He promptly left the courtroom, drove to his employer and quit his job!
To cut to the chase, I've collected about $6K the last two years from him - because the child support office has garnisheed everything they can. And, the monthly amount was reduced a couple of times because our daughter aged out and because he claims not to have any income at all now.
So, I am three months from my youngest child being 18 years old at which point the child support will stop accumulating. And, currently, he owes me over $29,000.00!!!!
And, it appears that he may actually be able to pay me off - not that he wants to or that he's not trying every way possible not to - in the fairly near future. He wants to settle for a lesser amount and call everything else even. In my mind, I might could agree to something, but my dollar amount and his will never mesh. One of my friends asked me why I'd even consider settling for a lesser amount - I have no answer for that. Except, that my mom said it best, I was stupid when I was with him. And, he's not cute, charming, or nice. Even Dr. Phil couldn't help that one!
AND, the kicker is - he wants to be able to dictate how the money is spent!! After 6 years of being alone all the time with the kids, him never taking them even for a day, 6 years of me being the one to do without so that they could have everything they needed and all they wanted I could afford to give them, 6 years of me working long hours, and multiple jobs, even after I went on 100% disability, 6 years of his judgmental degradation about any mistake Lynn makes but no accolades for either of them's accomplishments and successes. His comment to Renee was to make sure "your momma splits this money between you and Lynn"!
Is this man for real? Can you imagine how stupid I think he is - I won't be angry because I won't give him that control, but, the fact that after all these years he thinks I'm still stupid about him, in fact, he's banking on it, does chap my ass a bit! Then Amy says for me to be careful, if they make him pay me, he'll be over here trying to come back!! OMG - if anybody sees anything to make you suspect at all I've lost my mind, because that's what it would have to be, please please call the men in white coats and have me locked up!
Don't anybody get excited, or look for the postcard from the islands, I'll believe it when I see it!
So, It's my Blog!
I got to thinking this week that I've not been blogging as much as I use to - and wondering why. Part of that I'm sure is that I am extremely busy right now - this week I worked 4 days at my part time job - something I don't like to do and takes way too much of a physical toll on me. Note to self - don't do that again!
And then I wondered if my tendency to skip blogging is that I've become aware that there are several folks reading my blog on a regular basis. That thrills me, but at the same time, I had a few days of cold feet during which I thought things like "be careful what you say" and "what if I hurt someone's feelings", etc. I suppose those moments of self-doubt creep over everybody, and I'm happy to report that mine are less frequent than they once were!
So, all of that said, I think I'm back.
And then I wondered if my tendency to skip blogging is that I've become aware that there are several folks reading my blog on a regular basis. That thrills me, but at the same time, I had a few days of cold feet during which I thought things like "be careful what you say" and "what if I hurt someone's feelings", etc. I suppose those moments of self-doubt creep over everybody, and I'm happy to report that mine are less frequent than they once were!
So, all of that said, I think I'm back.
Monday, July 21, 2008
4 Random Sentences
I need to finish this post, I've really got to pee. Are the pie crusts thawed enough to prick yet? I hope Jimbo don't start coming to my house often. Wonder if Lynn is asleep?
One of the blogs I read, Shamelessly Sassy, you have to read it. She wrote just 4 random thoughts yesterday and challenged us all. Fun!
One of the blogs I read, Shamelessly Sassy, you have to read it. She wrote just 4 random thoughts yesterday and challenged us all. Fun!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
MowMow MooMoo
We had a very pleasant surprise last night - some friends who used to live in Nashville and now live in Huntington (about 120 miles west of here) called and were in town. They came by to visit, Ranessa, Lathan, his friend Ian, and Zipporrah.
When I met Ranessa, my son and her sons had become friends. So, we have 4 teenagers between us, then a little over two years ago, Zipporrah arrived. We were pretty excited here, for one thing we had not had a baby in our family for a long time. And, things had been a little rough for Ranessa, so that both of them were doing fine was a blessing. And, Zippy, as we call her in my house, was born on Big Blake's birthday.
I hadn't seen her for close to a year, and how she has changed. She's up running around everywhere, and in typical 2 year old fashion, all on her tippy toes. Talking ninety miles an hour and spotted the cat the minute she walked in. I could hear her going "mow mow, mow mow" all over the place.
I've noticed little kids do not say 'me-ow' with two syllables. It's always 'mow' just one sysllable rhyming with 'how'. So, Zip is running around calling 'mow mow, mow mow' and the cat is trying not to be seen.
We tried to tell her his name is "Moo Moo". He is named that because he is marked up just like a big fat holstein, and really resembles one of the little "Mary's Moo Moo" cow figurines that are doing a number of tasks, etc.
So she said 'moo moo' once, then she said 'mooooooooo' 'cow'. Hysterical. Try telling a two year old that the CAT is named MOO when MOO to her means COW. Good laugh for everyone.
I did forget how much energy a 2 year old has!
When I met Ranessa, my son and her sons had become friends. So, we have 4 teenagers between us, then a little over two years ago, Zipporrah arrived. We were pretty excited here, for one thing we had not had a baby in our family for a long time. And, things had been a little rough for Ranessa, so that both of them were doing fine was a blessing. And, Zippy, as we call her in my house, was born on Big Blake's birthday.
I hadn't seen her for close to a year, and how she has changed. She's up running around everywhere, and in typical 2 year old fashion, all on her tippy toes. Talking ninety miles an hour and spotted the cat the minute she walked in. I could hear her going "mow mow, mow mow" all over the place.
I've noticed little kids do not say 'me-ow' with two syllables. It's always 'mow' just one sysllable rhyming with 'how'. So, Zip is running around calling 'mow mow, mow mow' and the cat is trying not to be seen.
We tried to tell her his name is "Moo Moo". He is named that because he is marked up just like a big fat holstein, and really resembles one of the little "Mary's Moo Moo" cow figurines that are doing a number of tasks, etc.
So she said 'moo moo' once, then she said 'mooooooooo' 'cow'. Hysterical. Try telling a two year old that the CAT is named MOO when MOO to her means COW. Good laugh for everyone.
I did forget how much energy a 2 year old has!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Where Did the Week Go?
It's already Thursday morning - I'm working at home today which means I should really get up and get busy - I've got a million things to do. But, I can't believe it is Thursday already.
Remember when we were kids and each day seemed to last a year or two? It felt that way, especially during the school year when we just lived for Christmas break or summer!! I guess those days go so slow because you really don't have to do anything, you're just rolling along, playing kickball, fighting with the neighbor kids, making up shortly, riding bikes, sneaking off to the Dairy King to get an ice cream cone when you're sure your mom won't come down the big hill and catch you!
Now those were the days. Today, I need to do laundry, (somewhat embarassing, I am out of drawers!), work on the class reunion, work on the history project and get something done, organize myself for the book club meeting next Monday, hem a bridesmaid dress for an upcoming wedding, clean my bathroom, get some cooking done (yesterday was CSA day), follow up on a couple of things for a friend I work for part-time, deal with Lynn by talking to his therapist, and what am I doing? Crusing the 'net, reading blogs, posting to this one, just generally avoiding the day's required work as long as possible.
All the time knowing, that when I get started the day will be over before I know it, I'll only have 20% done what I thought I wanted to do, and I'll be exhausted and hobble off to bed.
I guess I'd better get started, the cat is looking at me all evil because his waterer is empty.
Remember when we were kids and each day seemed to last a year or two? It felt that way, especially during the school year when we just lived for Christmas break or summer!! I guess those days go so slow because you really don't have to do anything, you're just rolling along, playing kickball, fighting with the neighbor kids, making up shortly, riding bikes, sneaking off to the Dairy King to get an ice cream cone when you're sure your mom won't come down the big hill and catch you!
Now those were the days. Today, I need to do laundry, (somewhat embarassing, I am out of drawers!), work on the class reunion, work on the history project and get something done, organize myself for the book club meeting next Monday, hem a bridesmaid dress for an upcoming wedding, clean my bathroom, get some cooking done (yesterday was CSA day), follow up on a couple of things for a friend I work for part-time, deal with Lynn by talking to his therapist, and what am I doing? Crusing the 'net, reading blogs, posting to this one, just generally avoiding the day's required work as long as possible.
All the time knowing, that when I get started the day will be over before I know it, I'll only have 20% done what I thought I wanted to do, and I'll be exhausted and hobble off to bed.
I guess I'd better get started, the cat is looking at me all evil because his waterer is empty.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Sunday, Sunday
la la la da da da, Can't rest that day.....
Sunday always seem to be a busy day unless I specifically plan to sit in bed all day. Even then, unless both of my kids are out of town, I mean hundreds of miles away, it never works.
Got up early this morning, did the shower bit and headed to church a little earlier than usual. We have a church member whose mission is to get up early every morning and make his rounds to some grocery stores. He collects the food that's been pulled from the shelves and is about to go in the dumpster, most of which is still fine just not for the retail shelf. That food is supplementing not only our entire church family, but loads of friends and neighbors. This morning I loaded up my van to share with a few families I know, and brought home plenty for my own family. I did attend preaching too!
I mention this only to say the following - in the future we may all see that the acquirement of food to eat becomes more of full time job than the casual jump in the car, drive to Kroger task it has been for so many years. I don't want to go all 'Ruby Ridgish" here, but, I am trying to keep my eyes and options open. Readily available food may not always be our way of life. If I never realized or believe that before, I think about the multitude of folks who are benefiting from what's taking place at church and the folks who belong to the CSA's. Add to that the almost daily reminder that our food banks have diminished supplies and funds because of the demand - I know I'm right about looking for other options, etc.
Today I planned on doing some cooking up for the week - I still had produce to take care of before it was lost to spoilage. So that is in progress, and I get some more much appreciated help - my sister Amy and her husband Ben are starting a new eating plan tomorrow which required them to do some clearing of their own pantry - lucky for me and my kids!
So, sometime later today I will be glad to get up in my bed and rest. And be ever so thankful for the blessings of a good food supply my family has for the next week or two - it will give me a little room to be generous to those less blessed.
Today's challenge for you - give some thing, some money or some time away to someone less blessed than yourself!
Sunday always seem to be a busy day unless I specifically plan to sit in bed all day. Even then, unless both of my kids are out of town, I mean hundreds of miles away, it never works.
Got up early this morning, did the shower bit and headed to church a little earlier than usual. We have a church member whose mission is to get up early every morning and make his rounds to some grocery stores. He collects the food that's been pulled from the shelves and is about to go in the dumpster, most of which is still fine just not for the retail shelf. That food is supplementing not only our entire church family, but loads of friends and neighbors. This morning I loaded up my van to share with a few families I know, and brought home plenty for my own family. I did attend preaching too!
I mention this only to say the following - in the future we may all see that the acquirement of food to eat becomes more of full time job than the casual jump in the car, drive to Kroger task it has been for so many years. I don't want to go all 'Ruby Ridgish" here, but, I am trying to keep my eyes and options open. Readily available food may not always be our way of life. If I never realized or believe that before, I think about the multitude of folks who are benefiting from what's taking place at church and the folks who belong to the CSA's. Add to that the almost daily reminder that our food banks have diminished supplies and funds because of the demand - I know I'm right about looking for other options, etc.
Today I planned on doing some cooking up for the week - I still had produce to take care of before it was lost to spoilage. So that is in progress, and I get some more much appreciated help - my sister Amy and her husband Ben are starting a new eating plan tomorrow which required them to do some clearing of their own pantry - lucky for me and my kids!
So, sometime later today I will be glad to get up in my bed and rest. And be ever so thankful for the blessings of a good food supply my family has for the next week or two - it will give me a little room to be generous to those less blessed.
Today's challenge for you - give some thing, some money or some time away to someone less blessed than yourself!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
More Reunion News!
I'm sure that before September 27, my regular readers (and thank you all very very much) will get tired of hearing about the class reunion. Sorry, I'm pretty excited about it, but I promise not to get too way out of hand.
We met today at Rippy's in downtown Nashville. Three of the folks who came I had not seen in years so it was great to do some catching up, etc. Jane, our organizer, had brought the composite picture of our class (1978) so there was lots of "What ever happened to?" and "Do you ever see?", which was great fun.
We'll meet again in 4 weeks - next time we are meeting at The Diary King!! Now, if you're from Woodbine or anywhere remotely south in Davidson County, you know the "Dairy Dip". Jeff Jones, the owner, has an eat-in restaurant too which he has graciously offered to us whenever we want or need to meet. Thanks Jeff!
We did try the "Hog Sampler Platter" today while at Rippy's. Ribs, smoked sausage, brisket, chicken wings (hotter than blazes), cheese, onion rings, and pickles. I may have skipped something - but all very tasty. Rippy's will be catering the reunion with a Southern BBQ buffet so we will have excellent eats.
Biggest obstacle we face right now is getting the word out. We're not requiring reservations, but asking for RSVP's so we can get in the ballpark on food. Did I say this reunion is the entire decade of the 70's? It is, that's 10 years plus we are not excluding anybody from the late 60's or early 80's that was part of the high school experience with someone from the 70's. Potentially, we could have 1000 folks show up - I doubt that - but I would love to see 300-400 at least.
Well, that's it for the reunion right now. I have some work to do but I am shifting gears as of tomorrow and hitting the history project head on. I've set an August 30 deadline for myself and intend to keep it!
We met today at Rippy's in downtown Nashville. Three of the folks who came I had not seen in years so it was great to do some catching up, etc. Jane, our organizer, had brought the composite picture of our class (1978) so there was lots of "What ever happened to?" and "Do you ever see?", which was great fun.
We'll meet again in 4 weeks - next time we are meeting at The Diary King!! Now, if you're from Woodbine or anywhere remotely south in Davidson County, you know the "Dairy Dip". Jeff Jones, the owner, has an eat-in restaurant too which he has graciously offered to us whenever we want or need to meet. Thanks Jeff!
We did try the "Hog Sampler Platter" today while at Rippy's. Ribs, smoked sausage, brisket, chicken wings (hotter than blazes), cheese, onion rings, and pickles. I may have skipped something - but all very tasty. Rippy's will be catering the reunion with a Southern BBQ buffet so we will have excellent eats.
Biggest obstacle we face right now is getting the word out. We're not requiring reservations, but asking for RSVP's so we can get in the ballpark on food. Did I say this reunion is the entire decade of the 70's? It is, that's 10 years plus we are not excluding anybody from the late 60's or early 80's that was part of the high school experience with someone from the 70's. Potentially, we could have 1000 folks show up - I doubt that - but I would love to see 300-400 at least.
Well, that's it for the reunion right now. I have some work to do but I am shifting gears as of tomorrow and hitting the history project head on. I've set an August 30 deadline for myself and intend to keep it!
Friday, July 11, 2008
A Busy Week Indeed!
I can't believe I haven't posted all week - I knew I had been busy, but I didn't realize just how much until today.
I don't remember everything I did either! I know I had a meeting about the history project that went quite well, but, I will be so glad to be done with it! Met with Lynn's DCS and Phoenix Home folks yesterday - more on that in a minute. I've worked about 18 hours this week and have a class reunion meeting tomorrow. Whew!
I've said it before, but I want to say it again, I hope you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ever find youself having to deal with DCS. I've been dealing with them a year and still don't see rhyme or reason in what they do. And, it's all a game. Lynn has learned to play it quite well because he is always a player. As the roster changes from meeting to meeting, I've found it quite interesting to see who's playing who this time. I'm making notes, believe me when I say that when we are done with this, I'm going to write an expose' for the papers. I've seen every one of Lynn's therapist and case managers lie - if that gives you a clue - like I said it depends on who the audience is on who's lying this time.
I'm pretty excited about tomorrow - I'm a little worried about where we're meeting - and I need to check with them to be sure they can accomodate me with seating. We were supposed to meet on the roof of Rippy's in downtown Nashville, BUT, they have 20 steps and no elevator!! Besides, it'll be 95 degrees tomorrow so I'm thinking we just can't be up there. But, I'm excited because I believe some new folks are coming, and some I haven't seen for several years. Should be fun.
Right now, I'm looking for a poem or song lyrics that would do for the memorial table. Think about that and let me hear something from you. I've considered "One Sweet Day" by Mariah and "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney. BUT, we went to school in the 70's so it would be cool to use something from back then. I really hope somebody suggest something!
I don't remember everything I did either! I know I had a meeting about the history project that went quite well, but, I will be so glad to be done with it! Met with Lynn's DCS and Phoenix Home folks yesterday - more on that in a minute. I've worked about 18 hours this week and have a class reunion meeting tomorrow. Whew!
I've said it before, but I want to say it again, I hope you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ever find youself having to deal with DCS. I've been dealing with them a year and still don't see rhyme or reason in what they do. And, it's all a game. Lynn has learned to play it quite well because he is always a player. As the roster changes from meeting to meeting, I've found it quite interesting to see who's playing who this time. I'm making notes, believe me when I say that when we are done with this, I'm going to write an expose' for the papers. I've seen every one of Lynn's therapist and case managers lie - if that gives you a clue - like I said it depends on who the audience is on who's lying this time.
I'm pretty excited about tomorrow - I'm a little worried about where we're meeting - and I need to check with them to be sure they can accomodate me with seating. We were supposed to meet on the roof of Rippy's in downtown Nashville, BUT, they have 20 steps and no elevator!! Besides, it'll be 95 degrees tomorrow so I'm thinking we just can't be up there. But, I'm excited because I believe some new folks are coming, and some I haven't seen for several years. Should be fun.
Right now, I'm looking for a poem or song lyrics that would do for the memorial table. Think about that and let me hear something from you. I've considered "One Sweet Day" by Mariah and "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney. BUT, we went to school in the 70's so it would be cool to use something from back then. I really hope somebody suggest something!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Obama Baby!
Well - that's the way I've been hearing it for months!
Yes - I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am still a Hillary girl BUT most importantly, I am a Democrat and think that we must have a Democrat in the White House to 1 - get us out of the friggin mess we're in and 2 - lead us somewhere besides the poorhouse or prison camps.
If you can, please go to Obama.com and sign up to get email updates, etc. Make a donation if you can at all, and believe me, I totally understand when you can't because there's not enough money left to eat after you've bought gas to go to work and back.
I'm attached a link to an interview in Rolling Stone - good reading!
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/21472234
Yes - I've said it before and I'll say it again - I am still a Hillary girl BUT most importantly, I am a Democrat and think that we must have a Democrat in the White House to 1 - get us out of the friggin mess we're in and 2 - lead us somewhere besides the poorhouse or prison camps.
If you can, please go to Obama.com and sign up to get email updates, etc. Make a donation if you can at all, and believe me, I totally understand when you can't because there's not enough money left to eat after you've bought gas to go to work and back.
I'm attached a link to an interview in Rolling Stone - good reading!
http://www.rollingstone.com/news/coverstory/21472234
Family Tree Research
My sister Amy signed up with ancestry.com and started to build our family tree. I did some work about 9 years ago for a few months - can't believe it's been that long! I can say this - the websites designed for this type work, etc. have come a long way.
I've passed on the stuff I had to Amy to add in - the coolest thing about ancestry.com now is that if you hit a common person to another person's public tree - you can link them, giving you the opportunity to share but expanding both trees.
Of course you can keep your tree private if you're not inclined to share. There are some folks who don't like to share if they've done the research themselves, but as for me, share on! What good is any knowledge I have if I keep it to myself?
They've also got book publishing capablility and poster options. You can actually upload pictures of your relatives into the software and create a poster with 4, 5 or 7 generations, including pictures. I sampled one of those today - I'm thinking it might be something cute for the kids for Christmas! Renee would definitely appreciate it now and I can hope Lynn would some day.
Random note: If you have speakers and can hear my playlist on the blog - the first song now is "Hey Mama" by Kanye West. Lynn introduced me to this song about 1 1/2 years ago and said he wanted to dedicate it to me. SO, even if he doesn't act like he knows anything - I know he does!!
I've passed on the stuff I had to Amy to add in - the coolest thing about ancestry.com now is that if you hit a common person to another person's public tree - you can link them, giving you the opportunity to share but expanding both trees.
Of course you can keep your tree private if you're not inclined to share. There are some folks who don't like to share if they've done the research themselves, but as for me, share on! What good is any knowledge I have if I keep it to myself?
They've also got book publishing capablility and poster options. You can actually upload pictures of your relatives into the software and create a poster with 4, 5 or 7 generations, including pictures. I sampled one of those today - I'm thinking it might be something cute for the kids for Christmas! Renee would definitely appreciate it now and I can hope Lynn would some day.
Random note: If you have speakers and can hear my playlist on the blog - the first song now is "Hey Mama" by Kanye West. Lynn introduced me to this song about 1 1/2 years ago and said he wanted to dedicate it to me. SO, even if he doesn't act like he knows anything - I know he does!!
Friday, July 4, 2008
Life according to George Carlin
I good friend sent this to me today via email - I thought it was great, especially since my earlier post had been so negative. Read and enjoy!
George Carlin on age.
(Absolutely Brilliant)
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, craf ts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
George Carlin on age.
(Absolutely Brilliant)
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21 YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, craf ts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
I am a Disillusioned Woman
Last weekend Lynn and I fought almost all weekend. He has plucked my last nerve, there's just no more I think, no more nerves to be plucked, no more skin to get under, no more hair to pull out. Somewhere in the course of the weekend, actually, when I was driving him back to his foster mother's - which took me ALL DAY Sunday to get him out of my house - he told me I was just a bitter old woman.
Rather stinging words from your son - but I admit I've not cut him any slack lately, about anything.
So during the week I mentioned it to one my friends, who promptly told me I am not a bitter old woman - I am just disillusioned and that is fine!
Been thinking about that - and it's really true. I have fought the bitter root , advice from a former church member about 16 years or so ago.
But I am disillusioned and here's why:
The marriage ended, so what, big deal! No person in my life, family or friend, wanted me to marry him and everyone saw what I didn't. He made me miserable everyday, but somewhere along the line my mom had told me "A bad dad is better than no dad" so I stayed until I just couldn't any longer, and she had long ago thrown in the towel on the idiot.
But, even though it finally ended, like a nightmare you think you'll never wake up from, I've come to realize it was never good. It wasn't like something happened, we didn't fall out of love, we didn't grow apart, it was never good. Wasn't it supposed to be good in the beginning and things just happen that lead you down the road to divorce?
But even that, I can deal with - like I said - who cares? - I'm so much better off and happier.
But then there are the kids! I've spent my whole life raising them, putting them first, and doing without anything I wanted and most stuff I needed to give them things they wanted and I wanted them to have.
Renee - she's appreciative most of the time. She's in school, she's working (2 jobs this summer) and trying to become a young adult who can stand on her own two feet. I worry about her health - she is diabetic - but mostly I worry about the young man she loves. He smothers her, and while that is cute and nice when you're dating, it's a disaster when you are married. He's a nice guy, but he doesn't have enough ambition to suit me and I discuss this with her. Not in the "You have to stop this", but "this may drive you crazy one day" and "you have to decide if you can live with this" kind of statements.
Then along comes Lynn - Lynn who is my payback for every single thing I ever did to upset my mother - down to just plain old stupid stuff like leaving cheese wrappers on the cabinet instead of putting them in the trash. Lynn - who insists he is a grown man, but is about 3 years old in reality. Lynn - who takes almost all of my energy on a daily basis and he's not even in my home full time right now. He's four months from being 18 and flat refuses to get a job. Says he doesn't want to go to school. His explanation to me on how he proposes to support himself is one that will lead to an orange jumpsuit with TDOC written on the back and Sunday visitations, to which I will refuse to go. Lynn who showed up at my house last night and said he'd been here until Sunday when I'd not planned on bringing him home because I needed a break from him. Lynn - who got his GED - thank God - but won't have a senior year, pictures, class ring, or graduation ceremony.
I wonder if I'd be happier if I'd been much more selfish raising them, if I'd made sure I had the things I wanted, if I'd allowed myself to have a social life that didn't revolve around supporting them in school, if I'd just said no to them. So, I am disillusioned. But, in another great saying from my mom, "This too shall pass".
Rather stinging words from your son - but I admit I've not cut him any slack lately, about anything.
So during the week I mentioned it to one my friends, who promptly told me I am not a bitter old woman - I am just disillusioned and that is fine!
Been thinking about that - and it's really true. I have fought the bitter root , advice from a former church member about 16 years or so ago.
But I am disillusioned and here's why:
The marriage ended, so what, big deal! No person in my life, family or friend, wanted me to marry him and everyone saw what I didn't. He made me miserable everyday, but somewhere along the line my mom had told me "A bad dad is better than no dad" so I stayed until I just couldn't any longer, and she had long ago thrown in the towel on the idiot.
But, even though it finally ended, like a nightmare you think you'll never wake up from, I've come to realize it was never good. It wasn't like something happened, we didn't fall out of love, we didn't grow apart, it was never good. Wasn't it supposed to be good in the beginning and things just happen that lead you down the road to divorce?
But even that, I can deal with - like I said - who cares? - I'm so much better off and happier.
But then there are the kids! I've spent my whole life raising them, putting them first, and doing without anything I wanted and most stuff I needed to give them things they wanted and I wanted them to have.
Renee - she's appreciative most of the time. She's in school, she's working (2 jobs this summer) and trying to become a young adult who can stand on her own two feet. I worry about her health - she is diabetic - but mostly I worry about the young man she loves. He smothers her, and while that is cute and nice when you're dating, it's a disaster when you are married. He's a nice guy, but he doesn't have enough ambition to suit me and I discuss this with her. Not in the "You have to stop this", but "this may drive you crazy one day" and "you have to decide if you can live with this" kind of statements.
Then along comes Lynn - Lynn who is my payback for every single thing I ever did to upset my mother - down to just plain old stupid stuff like leaving cheese wrappers on the cabinet instead of putting them in the trash. Lynn - who insists he is a grown man, but is about 3 years old in reality. Lynn - who takes almost all of my energy on a daily basis and he's not even in my home full time right now. He's four months from being 18 and flat refuses to get a job. Says he doesn't want to go to school. His explanation to me on how he proposes to support himself is one that will lead to an orange jumpsuit with TDOC written on the back and Sunday visitations, to which I will refuse to go. Lynn who showed up at my house last night and said he'd been here until Sunday when I'd not planned on bringing him home because I needed a break from him. Lynn - who got his GED - thank God - but won't have a senior year, pictures, class ring, or graduation ceremony.
I wonder if I'd be happier if I'd been much more selfish raising them, if I'd made sure I had the things I wanted, if I'd allowed myself to have a social life that didn't revolve around supporting them in school, if I'd just said no to them. So, I am disillusioned. But, in another great saying from my mom, "This too shall pass".
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Tales of an Idiot Chapter 557
You know I'm talking about the biggest idiot I've ever know, the ex-husband!! I don't have 556 other chapters of documentation about his stupidity, but I could! In fact, that may be a project for the winter. Unfortunately, I've tried to forget as much as possible about him and I'd really like to not dredge back up some of the stuff. Rather embarassing to think of the time and energy I spent dealing with him.
So, for this weeks dose of "Can you believe this idiot?". Renee's boyfriend is having some issues with his car - he needs a water pump. His mom took it to a shop for an estimate which was over $600.00 because they said he needed a timing belt too. I explained to the kids that he didn't really need a timing belt, but since the front of the engine had to come off to do the water pump, it was just easier to replace it then and there instead of going back in - the car's age and mileage warrants doing it. OK - kudos to me for knowing something!
I did suggest Renee could call her dad and asked what he'd charge - he was once a fairly decent mechanic and I really just hoped he'd give Chris a break on the money. Long story short, Renee had to leave a message - and she eventually talked to him and he's supposed to do the work this weekend. When I picked her up from work, she said she'd talked to him and he could do it. He had also explained to her about the timing belt - same think I'd say. So I said to Renee, "please tell me when he said that you said - that's what my momma said", to which she said yes and we died laughing!
When we got home - we discovered the second hysterical part to this story - he called the house before he called Renee's cell phone and left the following message: "Lisa, this is Ron (accentuated because he knows I HATE him being called Ron), (then a long pause), Renee's daddy. Tell her I just got the message and to call me".
I started laughing uncontrollably and hit the replay key for Renee - who said "Like you don't know who the f**k he is".
This is one of those times it doesn't pay to get mad, you just have to laugh. I should feel sorry for the imbecile, but I don't.
So, for this weeks dose of "Can you believe this idiot?". Renee's boyfriend is having some issues with his car - he needs a water pump. His mom took it to a shop for an estimate which was over $600.00 because they said he needed a timing belt too. I explained to the kids that he didn't really need a timing belt, but since the front of the engine had to come off to do the water pump, it was just easier to replace it then and there instead of going back in - the car's age and mileage warrants doing it. OK - kudos to me for knowing something!
I did suggest Renee could call her dad and asked what he'd charge - he was once a fairly decent mechanic and I really just hoped he'd give Chris a break on the money. Long story short, Renee had to leave a message - and she eventually talked to him and he's supposed to do the work this weekend. When I picked her up from work, she said she'd talked to him and he could do it. He had also explained to her about the timing belt - same think I'd say. So I said to Renee, "please tell me when he said that you said - that's what my momma said", to which she said yes and we died laughing!
When we got home - we discovered the second hysterical part to this story - he called the house before he called Renee's cell phone and left the following message: "Lisa, this is Ron (accentuated because he knows I HATE him being called Ron), (then a long pause), Renee's daddy. Tell her I just got the message and to call me".
I started laughing uncontrollably and hit the replay key for Renee - who said "Like you don't know who the f**k he is".
This is one of those times it doesn't pay to get mad, you just have to laugh. I should feel sorry for the imbecile, but I don't.
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