Happy New Year!

Well, it's December 31. Tonight 2007 will leave and 2008 will come in. I didn't make resolutions, but I did make a list of goals I'm going to try to reach. May not be much difference, except in the approach, goals can be ongoing whereas a resolution may just be broken and forgotten soon.

I have faith 2008 will be a better year. I've set somewhat of a pattern the last few years - the odd years have not always been good - Dad died in 1995, I had a major wreck in 1999, Mom died in 2003, I went on disability in 2005, had another major wreck in 2007. See? But, all of those things have been survivable - and there are obstacles everyday - I'm just glad to see an even year get here!

I'll be sitting up in bed watching the ball drop at midnight - my years of partying the new year in long ago behind me. Which reminds me, my family had our Christmas yesterday. We were all at Larry and Mitzi's and the kids had some music on. Amy and I started singing Charlie Daniels Band tunes! She had my box set of CDB in her vehicle so we actually played some of them and us two and Larry sang our hearts out on a few songs. Brought back a lot of good memories.

I did try to convince my kids I used to be too cool, but they weren't going, even after everybody told them I was too cool back in the day!

Have a safe and happy new year!!

Teach Your Children

Remember this song by Crosby, Stills and Nash? I had looked up the lyrics the other day - sometimes I'm just old and forget the words. But, it's quite timely for today.

My children are 17 and 18 right now, very tough ages and tough times for them. It's the best time of your life, but you have no idea that it is, wouldn't believe anybody who told you, and it's only after you've struggled to live a few more years that you realize it.

There are not words to begin to tell a child how your heart aches for them - when they are troubled, sad, hurting, tired, frustrated or angry. When your child feels emotion, it's exacerbated in a mother's heart - good or bad.

I've spent my life raising these kids, their needs have always been first with me. I've taught them right from wrong, but now I'm watching them both struggle with life decisions. IT was so much easier when they were 2 and 3 and I could control everything in their lives. The fact that I don't have that control and I see them making mistakes makes me so angry. Today I need the strength to accept their decisions, do what I can to ease the pain, and go on living.

My mom told me you are never done raising your kids - I didn't want to believe her but now I know she was right.

Teenagers and Winter Break

Boy oh boy! After spending most of the fall alone in the house (except for the weekends) I am in culture shock!

Lynn came home full time on November 9. Renee and her roommate Jami were home for 10 days during Thanksgiving, and came back full time around December 7th. So, between the three of them and all their friends (Lynn is never alone), my house is like grand central station!

The house is a wreck too - I don't remember Renee being so messy as she is now. And, I will blame that on Jami. That poor child is so messy - she's a female Lynn.

I fussed and cussed at them yesterday, but this morning, I didn't see anything any different. And, there are 19 more days until they move back to the dorm!!!

Tomorrow is trash day, so I hope to get some cleaning up done tonight - maybe I need to sneak home during the day while they are at work and really clean out!! I have no idea what happened to your stuff!

I know what I am experiencing is not limited to me - there are parents all over the world today thinking the same thing. Believe me kids, we love you all, it's just we'd gotten used to the quite and calm and for the most part, have forgotten what it was like to be teenagers!!

Merry Christmas, damn it!

My Space

Man - I need some new pictures of myself and the kids on this site. Not to mention my myspace page needs updating too.

That was a stretch - me getting onto myspace and signing up. It was all supposed to be for kids right? Well NOT! There are a lot of us parents out there - and we correspond with each other etc. I've met up with some old friends from high school - made some new friends - and it's been a lot of fun.

My own space is not so pimped out - Lynn has floaties on his - and pictures that should embarass his mother. Renee's is cool too - she always has the prettiest backgrounds, etc.

I like to copy some of her stuff - there was this quiz about rock, paper, scissors I took and put on mine. I like it - it says I'm a rock and pretty much describes my personality right on target. And you know, it was only about 5 or 6 questions, not many. You just are who you are!

If you don't have a My Space - get one. You'll have fun with it - it's not as good as blogging but pretty damn close!

Child Support Drama

Today I was supposed to go to court on child support - initiated by the state this time. To begin with, I went to the wrong building. I had called to make sure I knew where I was going, and was told yes, but I was in the wrong place.

Luckily "my baby daddy" went to a different wrong building, so we're bumped to a different docket and sent to the right place. No real surprises, he's still not paying, trying to say he can't pay, etc. He should win an Academy Award for the performance he put on - he was injured last year and he was milking it for all it was worth - actually, he acted much like a severe Down's Syndrome person acts. I am not making fun of anybody - except him!

Of course, after we're dismissed the attorney did see him in the hall chatting away to my daughter; she even commented to me that was not the same man they had seen in court earlier!

I was married for 14 years - but the only real description of him for me now is just the "baby daddy". He sees the kids maybe once or twice a year, usually in court. Doesn't call on their birthdays, whines if they don't call him on his.

You should never never never marry beneath youself. I did - thought I could pull him up to my standard and couldn't. I could not care less now, except it hurts my kids. That's my payback daily for my defiance - everybody tried to tell me and I wouldn't listen - I didn't know not one single person who thought it was a good idea for me to marry him. They were all right.

But, on a lighter note, we did see a fight at the Child Support Office - major baby momma drama with the boyfriend, baby daddy and baby daddy sister. WOW - the police had to come. All I could think (and say) was what did Kat Williams say about "these nigga's are about to fight". It was hysterical- really worth all the walking I had to do today!

Brighter Days

Boy - my posts the last few days have sounded like I was terminal haven't they? Well, for that matter, we're all terminal BUT it's the timetable that makes the difference. I am looking forward to brighter days.

The girls (my daughter Renee and her roommate Jami) started moving home yesterday from college for the Christmas break. Man oh man, 4 weeks with 3 teenagers!! And that's just whose supposed to sleep there each night. Lynn almosts always has a friend over on Friday and Saturday nights.

Chez Martin will have a chore list daily - along with a menu - I shouldn't really have to cook the next 4 weeks should I? No, I didn't think so either! Just financing this deal (the utility bills and the groceries) is really more than I can do - ok guys - Merry Christmas!!

Reflections

This time of year I spend some time thinking about the last year - what went well, what didn't, progress made or footings lost. And, on the heels of that hopes for the next year. I don't really do resolutions anymore - but I do try to set some goals to work toward. That's the best I can do anymore - age, physicality, just sheer fatigue, well, resolutions just won't fly.

2007 wasn't the best year I've ever had, it wasn't the worse either though. There were some major milestones - Renee turned 18, Renee graduated from high school, Renee went off to college - those were all good. A head on collision in January, Lynn's problems, financial worries - they've been bad this year.

Even in the problems, there've been some silver linings. We were able to get another vehicle, Lynn has improved 1000 fold and money, well there's always more demand than supply if you're in the working class. We have a roof, the lights are on, and none of us look like we missed any meals! How much more blessed could we be?

I'm grateful for so much - my brothers and sisters are all still alive and well - we've had some health problems and scares so that is a wonderful blessing. The kids - mine and Larry and Mitzi's are all healthy! We all have the love of some animals (well, except that my cat doesn't love me - but Morgan, Zina & DaeDae make up for it) We'll spend some time during the holidays enjoying each other's company and good food - cherished recipes from throughout our lives. Could it get any better?

Christmas Music

I just love Christmas music!

I remember as a child and teenager - my parents owned several Christmas LP's and we were always playing Christmas music while we cleaned up and baked, etc.

They had a tradition of "going to see Santa Claus" a few nights in December. We'd have the responsibility of straightening up some, sometimes I'd bake cookies, and we'd listen to the albums. On a Zenith Circular Sound stereo too - one of the first that was available in Glasgow, KY (the little town we come from).

I have several CD's now - but my favorite is and has been for several years now, Martina McBride's White Christmas. It has the standards - her version of "O Holy Night" is absolutely beautiful and probably the best I've ever heard.

And, somehow, before it's played through, I end up crying. Not sad tears really, just tears of remembrance of days gone by and missing you tears for Mom and Dad. It's all good - I'm so grateful for my love of music, family times, and loving the holidays - something my parents passed on to all of us.

Things Can Always Get Worse

You know, sometimes I just induldge myself in a pity party. I don't mean to do it, it just happens and before I know it, I'm crying and feeling sorry for myself about the way life has turned out. I can barely walk most days, I've raised my kids practically alone, my parents are gone, I live paycheck to paycheck and barely that sometimes, I loved someone who didn't love me back (at least I don't think so).

Then, someone shares a story with me about a person they know whose straits are so much more dire than mine - and I have to realize life ain't so bad and I need to shut up, get up, and go on.

Sure, it hurts to walk - but hey - I'm alive and have my mind. I have a wheelchair if I decide to give up - and I could buy new legs!

My kids are almost grown, and while there've been some really tough days - they are smart kids who look to their futures positively, they're healthy, opinionated, and respectful. They haven't made decisions that have ruined their lives - what else could I ask for?

I had my dad for 35 years and my mom for 42, longer than any of my siblings and longer than a lot of folks in this world. I have lots of good memories and I truly believe I'll see them in heaven one day - can you expect anymore? And, I have brothers and sisters I love dearly - we all still speak and can spend time together - not something every family can claim. Kudos to Mom and Dad on that one!

Money - oh well - ever see a Brinks truck in a funeral possession?

And on love - at least I did love - and while it ended badly - I know I did everthing I was humanly capable of to do the right thing everyday - I don't have to claim his baggage.

So - during this holiday season - if you get to feeling lonely and sad - concentrate on all of the good things in your life! You'll be surprised how many there are and just how much worse things could get. Bow you head and thank God for all your blessings and his grace in your life.

Time - Where does it go?

I can't believe it - it's been almost a month since I posted and I used to try and post everyday!

Well - life has been in the way. Many updates - just a couple right now - first Lynn is home! YEAH! So far, so good - he is still a 17 year old male and that's stressful enough - trying to figure out how to live in the same house again is trying for both of us but we're making it. He starts back to school tomorrow - I hope he finishes with a diploma, but I've come to realize the world will not stop revolving if he doesn't.

2nd - the computer crashed big time. Lost the hard drive and nothing was recoverable. That is the pits since Renee had all of her pictures on there. Everything else can be rebuilt - the pics cannot. The little guy at Computer Renaissance is going to try one more time - and he has the name of a company that guarantees they can recover - it just costs about $500. (I'll be if the CIA or FBI thought I had something on there, they could recover it all, hmm)

AND - I am trying to work part time again - it is so tough and I am mostly very uncomfortable - but - I'm trying. If I'd known I would live this long, I'd been much kinder to my feet and legs!!

Hitchhikers

Yesterday I drove to Memphis and back. It was a beautiful day and the drive wasn't too bad - it's usually grueling to go down and straight back for me.

Twice I saw a person hitchhiking on the interstate. Neither time had I seen a broken down vehicle - and one man - elderly - had on a backpack. As I drove past them I did feel a twinge to reach out and help someone, then common sense or fear and knowledge of what could happen took over and I kept right on driving. They were on my mind though - and why were they hitchhiking? I sometimes wonder if the present economical status of so many of our citizens won't lead to much more hitchhiking - of course that's a whole website to itself - my opinions about what the future holds that is.

I've never picked up a hitchhiker - probably never will - my favorite author - King - has never written a successful horror story about doing such a thing - and the real stories on the television news have been almost as bad as his fictional accounts. But, I remember growing up as a child in Southern Kentucky - every time we went somewhere you were bound to see a hitchhiker. Some regular folks - but mostly soldiers.

It was the late 60's and they (soldiers) would pretty much all be headed to Ft. Campbell. My dad always stopped and picked them up, asked them where they were from and where they were headed, and drove them as far as we were going, or dropped them wherever they were headed if not as far. It seemed like the most perfectly normal thing to do. I remember their gratitude and Daddy telling them good luck. I remember fear in their face too - most of them would be in Vietnam within a week of us seeing them.

Us kids were all aware of Vietnam, we had one uncle there with the Marines, one in Germany with the Army, and another just home from the Navy. Stopping and giving them a ride, if only for a few miles, well, we felt like we were doing our part to support the troups and our nation. That made us proud.

I thought I saw that same look of fear yesterday - but my own kept me from doing my part to support a fellow citizen. That makes me sad.

World Series

I did watch - not every single minute of every game - but around a third to half of each of the four games. I'd flip back and forth during commercials, etc. But I always watched the last 2 innings in entirety.

Go Sox! Now, I can't say I'm a lifelong Sox fan - just in the last ten years or so - since I discovered that my favorite author of all times - The King! - favs the Sox. Of course, some of the players have kept me watching - this year my favorite was Manny Ramirez! What a cutie!!

Watching the games brought back a lot of memories - my dad was a big baseball fan - not the kind to leave us sitting at home to go to a game, but definiately one who watched it when he could and taught us all how to play. He favored the Cincinnati Reds and the St. Louis Cardinals.

Daddy was a left handed pitcher - as a youngster I couldn't play pitch with him - but the boys did. He could put a spin on a ball, send it right up your arm if that glove didn't hold it, burn the skin right off! Even after open heart surgery and multiple bypasses, he threw a ball clocked at 90 mph at the old throwing game in Opryland. I noticed the guys pitching major league during the series were only hitting 94-96 mph.

Daddy died October 15, 1995. I've watched some of the World Series every year since then - makes me feel close to him. I know he's watching, from the best seat in the house!

Public Service

I don't mean the kind you get when you've been in trouble and have to do what used to be called "Community Service". I'm talking about those folks who run for and are elected to public office to serve their communities, cities, states, and nations. God Bless Them All!!

I'm concerned, of course, about Nashville, Tennessee, our nation, and the world in general. But, my own little area of town, District 16 in Metropolitan Davidson County, is where my primary concerns are and maybe where I can do something to better the neighborhood and hope it trickles on to the bigger picture.

All this leads up to me saying though, I could not be the elected council person for this district in no way shape, form or fashion. Bill Gates couldn't pay me, he does have enough money. I thought I cared, but, I'm not sure I could remain gracious and in control if I was faced with what I'm sure every council person faces, but particularly what I've seen up close and personal in my own district. Hell, I haven't stayed gracious and in control just as a constituent!

There are about 5,000 registered voters, give or take, in this district. That means there are probably 25,000 residents. So, at least 25,000 folks have an opinion, that's good, all of them think they are right - hmmm - and most of them will call to ask for something or just to complain about their neighbor.

I would cautiously say that there is some diaglogue happening that may actually lead to some successful brainstorming without brain-bashing. I'm not holding my breath - just waiting to see. And, I've added my own fuels to the flames a few times - which I regret only in the sense that I don't want to make the job for the council person any worse.

I suppose this is democracy at work - sometimes it just looks like democrazy!

AND - REGISTER TO VOTE!! There is no excuse and no reason to delay any longer!!

Rainy Days and Mondays

Does anybody remember this song by The Carpenters? I loved them - I spent a lot of time trying to sing like Karen Carpenter - her voice was so pure. Actually - I tried to imitate a lot of my favorites - easy to do if you can't sing - never did nail any of them but it sure was fun.

Anyway - a last note about The Carpenters - back in 1970 or 71 - my Uncle Bob came down from Bowling Green with one of his friends to go to a Carpenter concert at the Municipal Auditorium. They were dressed in suits - I guess it was the time and the group - but I remember it fondly. I never went to a concert in anything but jeans and tennis shoes with some band t-shirt, preferably from the last concert I'd been to.

My whole point with the title is that we've recevied much needed rain the last three days here - Monday it rained all day long, very heavy at times, but always steady. It rained most of yesterday and has started again today. The best part has been to wake up, see how dark it was outside because of the clouds, hear the water in the downspout on the edge of the house, and go back to sleep for a great nap!

Let it rain! (a line from a great Temps song!)

Old Friends

Tuesday night an old friend from high school and her husband came by to visit.

I had not seen Tammy in probably about 25 years - I think the last time was right after she and Greg had married and they celebrated their 25th anniversary this year. About a year ago she contacted me thru Classmates.com. We've emailed back and forth and talked on the phone - but I have to tell you it was wonderful to see her and just spend some time sitting in the same room reminiscing. She lives out of state - probably a 3 hour drive or so - but I hope we can make time to spend more time together in the future.

After reconnecting with Tammy I was inspired - I went looking for a couple of other old friends - one from Kentucky, Sondra, that I had not seen since we were both freshmen in college in 1978. I found her sister - so then her! We've been emailing back and forth for a few months - she only lives about 60 miles from here and hopes to visit Nashville soon and come by for awhile.

My whole point is - if you've lost a connection with someone from you past that was a dear friend - then try to find them. Classmates.com is a great place to start if they were school buddies. Sharing with these two has so enriched my life - I'm not sure why we drifted apart other than life's paths forked at some point. All these years later though, things weren't so different after all when it came to raising kids and trying to live the best life you can. For all three of us, we've buried all of our parents and have been driven insane by our kids as teenagers. Tammy nor I are grandparents yet, but Sondra is - she is enjoying the children without having to raise them, and enjoying seeing her kids pay for their raising!

I feel deeply blessed to have been able to share my life with these friends again - it has been wonderful and I look forward to much more reminiscing in the future.

The Maniac Moo Moo

Today my cat made me really mad - mad enough in fact that I seriously think he has to find a new home.

He has always been somewhat of a maniac - you never know when or where he may attack - it used to be just my son - and he would lie in wait for him, pounce on his heels or back of his legs - and shred as much flesh as he could in the 2-3 seconds he had the chance. Believe me, in that short a period of time he could do some damage.

This morning he comes into my room, jumps on my bed, and is purring. He comes over and head butts me so I think he'll be safe to pet - not! He grabs my forearm and rips a place, plus makes two holes with his fangs - which are way too long to be in a cat's mouth. I was able to grab him and thought for a second about choking the life right out of him - but I didn't! I just pushed him off the bed and have proceeded to ignore him the rest of the day.

He is three years old - plenty old enough not to act like this. I've decided that I will get him declawed - I had not done so because it is an amputation, however, I don't think his ten claws on two front paws can be compared to one of my legs or arms. I've put this off too long - family and friends have told me over and over he needed Prozac - and they can put cats on some sort of meds to calm their aggressiveness. If I have to take it to keep from killing him, then, he can take it too!

It's a good think I'll pick Renee up shortly - at least someone will feed him today - because it won't be me, not today!

De-Cluttering

For a year or so I've been on a mission - to declutter my house as much as possible. That's a tough one - I'm from a long long line of pack rats. You'd never believe how much stuff my mom had - and my grandmother before her.

The kids and I have lived where we do for 5 years - when I first moved in I had a philosophy - no cardboard boxes anywhere in any closet. If it wasn't out being used, or displayed, and couldn't be scrapbooked, it had to go. That worked well, but then my Mom passed away, and I brought tons of stuff into the house. I finally found a place for all of it - and every closet, cabinet, cupboard, nook and cranny I had was filled to the brim!

I've used HGTV and Martha Stewart as resources on organizing, along with The Fly Lady, which helped me tremendously. I'm still not where I need to be - but I am getting better. I like to see space when I look in closets - especially on the shelves and when the floor is empty.

Today I'm adding a website to my blogpage - and a couple more blogs I like. I have a tremendous amount of fabric and sewing projects that I want to work thru - these blogs have some great ideas on keeping it organized and actually getting the stuff done.

Brrrrr!!!

You know, once it's been 90 degrees or more for 30-45 days in a row, and then magic happens and the high only gets to about 70 - and the early morning is in the 50's - well, it feels like it just might snow!

Yesterday a weather front came through that didn't drop the promised rainfall, but did usher in fall in a big way. Me and the cat attempted to sit on the deck this morning, but since the sun had not hit it yet, and there was a good breeze, I actually got cold and had to come back inside. This on Wednesday when I never went outside Saturday or Sunday because it was so hot!

I came in a few minutes ago from driving my daughter and her roommate back to campus - there is a really good breeze right now and the low tonight is supposed to hit the 40's. Can you believe that? Anyway, I might have normally stopped to sit on the deck for awhile and watch the sun finish setting - but tonight I came right in. I will be in pajamas shortly, with socks no doubt, to watch some t.v. before I fall asleep.

It never ceases to amaze me how we go from one extreme to the other without so much as a blink!

Bundle up - winter is on the way!!

Grammatically Correct

You know something that drives me insane? The use of the phrase "gone missing" or "went missing".

I don't think either are especially grammatically wrong, BUT, I think that sound ignorant and backwoodsey. I had not heard the phrase until I was about 11 and my roommate at church camp was from a little hillbilly town in East Tennessee. I don't think I'd heard them again until recently when they became the works of choice on television.

Now, our newscasters on every station use them regularly. For something to 'go missing' and 'went missing' doesn't the phrase indicate that the object or person has purposely acted in such a way to be missing. For instance, I've heard everyone of the news anchors refer to Janet March - it's been ten years since she went missing. Well, none of us know where Janet went or if she went anywhere, at least voluntarily.

It just grates on my nerves beyond belief - and I believe if I'd spent 4-8 years in college, was on public t.v. everynight, and got paid what these yo-yo's do, I'd find better terminology to use.

If I was to use these terms in my sentence, it'd been one like "Yeah, well Sander Claus done gone missing down at the Walmarks. Rudolph and dem udder reindeer went missing too."

October is not Cooling Off

Today is October 6 - and the high in Nashville today was 89 degrees. That is way too hot for a Saturday in October.

Today was the marching band competition at my alma mater. I was supposed to work today, but woke up way under the weather. As the day has turned out, it was the best all around that I didn't even try to go - I doubt I would have make it very long. Even I was feeling bad, I believe the heat would have got to me.

I have to wonder what the winter is going to bring. In Tennessee, there are several counties whose primary water source is near depletion. Expectations are for at least 5 counties to be without any water supply by January, unless we get some major rain for the next 4 months.

I traveled to Huntingdon yesterday - at one point you cross the Tennessee river. Now where I cross, the river is very very wide. I hate bridges, especially those over the water, but yesterday I made myself look at the shorelines. There is at least 10 feet of shore showing, maybe more, since the bridge is so high it's hard to gauge. But, I realized that has to be several million gallons of water that is just not there.

And, I realize this hasn't happened in the last 7 years - it is a long term thing - but it is another reason I cannot vote for a Republican. They simply do not do anything about the environment, or anything good. Personally, I don't have to worry about too many more years, but I don't want my kids or grandkids to suffer because there is no fresh water or readily available food. I believe we'll see both of these in the next 25 years - maybe much sooner.

T.V. Taking a Back Seat

I can't believe I haven't posted for almost a week. This has been a very busy week for me.

Lynn was home for the weekend - we had a very good visit. He is such a darling!

This Saturday the high school my kids have gone to hosts a marching band competition. Did I tell you I was a band mom? Well, it seems you never get to retire from that job - so I've been busy putting together the souvenir program - with a lot of help from Mitzi - see if I teach her I can retire!! It's gone pretty good - not every page lined up as good as it should have - but maybe no one will notice it too much.

As far as the television goes - this week I got to see Two and a Half Men, most of Bones, the last 20 minutes of Private Practice and that's it. I will try very hard to see tonights lineup. I don't tivo or dvr - I'd never get to them anyway - but by the time we're in re-runs marching season will be over and it'll be cold so I'll have to stay in the house - I'll catch up then!

That is - if I have time from all the other things I leave to winter to catch up on - reading, scrapbooking, sewing, etc.

Have a great weekend!

End of the Week Shows

Didn't get time to post yesterday - Thursday night was Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, and ER. Sometimes it's hard to watch one hospital drama after the other - I get the story lines mixed up!

All were pretty good - Ugly Betty was probably the most dramatic without cheese it's been - which was good although it is supposed to be a comedy!

Grey's Anatomy was awesome - but I laughed hysterically when Izzy zapped the deer with the paddles, and it jumped up and snorted at her. Very cheesey moment - but funny!!

ER has a new ER chief - which I promptly decided I hate. Like all the others before him, they're never a nice person and you just love to hate them. Neela got hurt really bad so that was the big ending, them all sitting in recovery waiting to see her!

I don't usually watch t.v. on Friday night - was a band mom too many years to know what happens on Friday night fall television. I had started watching the new show "Nashville". FOX cancelled it after only two episodes - good riddance. The first week might have been ok - but last week the music producers looked like idiots with everything but music on their minds when it came to the pretty girls. This kind of show could make it - but it would have to have totally different writers and about a 1000% less sleeze.

Well, I've already written about what I'm watching Sunday night - so I guess premier week is over, at least until January. When 24 comes back, I'll be front and center. After 5 years, I refuse to watch American Idol any longer. There's nothing else rude for Simon to say, nothing else stupid for Paula to say, and Randy has 'dogged' enough to last a lifetime.

Maybe I should try for a job on 60 minutes - I'm beginning to sound like Andy Rooney. Can girls be curmudgeons?

Wednesday Night's Shows

Well, last night I didn't watch the end of House and totally skipped SVU. I don't stress over missing shows, well most of them. If I miss something I'll try to catch it in reruns - if I still don't, oh well! It's just not that crucial. Does that surprise you since I'm doing a day to day outline of what I expect to watch?

Tonight a new show comes on, a spin off of my very favorite show on television the last three years - Grey's Anatomy. Tonight Addison leaves Seattle, moves to the California coast, and gets her own show - Private Practice. The cast is loaded with actors who are all stars in their own right and should equate tremendous success for this show. Tim Daly - who doesn't love him? He didn't do a BTVS episode but he could have - he was the 'smart' brother on Wings and Mike Anderson in Stephen King's Storm of the Century! Great movie by the way!

Added to the cast are Amy Brenneman, Taye Diggs and Audra McDonald. Plus - one of the guys off '24' - Cooper Freedman. "THE" critics are saying it's a show with little to offer and no lasting power - but - Grey's folks will probably sustain it thru at least one season. We'll see.

The only other show I may catch tonight will be "Deal or No Deal". They're supposed to giving an at home viewer one million dollars! Maybe it'll be somebody I know!

Tuesday Night Premiers

Oh yeah! (remember Kool Aid - you gotta say it like that)

Tonight is my 2nd favorite night of premier week. On FOX, I'll watch Bones and House. Bones is a great show - never mind that David Boreanis is beautiful (and BTVS and Angel alum) but all of the characters have endeared themselves to me. I could almost have been Bones herself - if I'd pursued a doctorate and left everything else alone - I could see it. Hodge Podge and Zacaroni (you'd had to have been there) are so cute, especially in the way they love their work. Angela is beautiful and smart and her dad is played by Billy Gibbons!!! Freakin' awesome!!!

Hugh Laurie on House is great - his one liners are so true but cutting - he's a genuine smart ass who doesn't care what anyone else thinks - a man after my own heart no doubt!

At 9:00 - I'll flip to NBC for Law & Order SVU. My daughter turned me on to this show - I'd watched the old Law & Orders, but lost interest. Last year, the USA Network did some SVU marathons, Renee got hooked, then hooked me. It's a good show - sometimes it can be heart wrenching - especially when children are involved.

I guess if I count hours - after tonight it's CBS - 3 hours, FOX - 2 hours and NBC - 1 hour.

Don't call me between 7:00 and 10:00 tonight - I'll be busy!

OK - I've Jumped the Gun

So, just because the week on the calendar starts on Monday - premier week does not. It starts tonight. Yesterday's post is 7 days too early!

Let's see - it's Monday - so I'll watch "How I Met Your Mother". Very cute, some very funny writing - also includes Alyson Hannigan of BTVS (are you beginning to see a pattern?) and Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Howser fame. I was all about the Doog back in the day!

New show - "The Big Bang Theory". Looks reminiscent of "Freaks and Geeks" which I missed the first time but am heartily enjoying on DVD thanks to Amy and Ben.

Can't miss "Two and a Half Men" - Angus T. Young as Jake goes off to Junior High. Come to think about it - Charlie Sheen is the freak here to Jon Cryer's geek! lol

I don't have a pic for the 8:30 slot - so I'll probably watch "Rules of Engagement" by default. At 9:00 - I will watch CSI-Miami. I don't think I was that crazy about David Caruso when he was on NYPD Blue, but, as Horatio Caine he is awesomely bad! If I was in Miami, I'd get in trouble just to see him take his glasses off and look sideways at me!! This show has some beautiful scenery - my friend Dee used to live in Miami and she said the pictures are really what it looks like - Biscayne Bay is just that blue. WOW!

So for Monday night, CBS wins with me! If I were to skip any of the above, I would like to see K-ville on FOX. The commercials have looked pretty good - but - it will probably not last.

See you tomorrow!

Premier Week - Sunday

OK - it's Sunday, the beginning of premier week on television. I've worked really hard this last week so starting tonight I can relax and watch some television without guilt!!

Tonight - Sunday - I'll watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters. The housewives got on my nerves last year - but there's at least one new character coming this season I really like - Nathan Fillion. He was in Serenity and Season 7 of BTVS.

I will probably skip most of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I generally like the show but find the two hour ones are just too much for me. This one is supposed to be set in Hawaii - probably some incredible scenery included, so maybe I will tune in.

I like Sally Fields - always have - so I've enjoyed Brothers and Sisters. Calista Flockhart is iffy - I wasn't an Ally McBeal fan, unless you count the episodes where Jon Bon Jovi starred. He is undoubtedly the most beautiful man in the universe - I will watch him on anything! Back to B&S - the show is produced by Ken Olin, his wife, Patrica Wettig, plays a good role - and it is co-produced by Marti Noxon - another BTVS alumni. Ken and Patricia are alum - among other things - of one of my favorite late 80's series - 30 Something.

I also realize that I need to address the Sunnydale part of my life - I'm just not sure a blog entry can do it justice! I may truly need a full blown web page!!

Watch for my picks for Monday night - I'll give you one hint - it will not be football!

Negativity

Boy - I didn't mean to sound so negative in the last two posts! I guess I got to banging on the keyboard and maybe should have waited a day or two before posting them. But, they are the truth and I'll let it go at that - today!

I will be so glad when my son is back home fulltime. We had a wonderful visit this weekend - it's so nice to see him cheerful, bright eyed, and laughing! He reminded me of the little boy who use to come curl up in my lap all the time!!

He's no longer a little boy though - he's up to 6 ft 1 1/2 inch - and that 1/2 inch is very important!! He has lost about 40 lbs, which he needed to, so he looks great!

No more details - just to say it's still been the hardest thing I've ever been through and I hope and pray daily the upward motion continues.

Prejudice Revisited

I think I have a lot to say on the subject of prejudice. I've witnessed some unbelievable stuff, been the victim more than once, and the only explanation I have ever been able to come up with is ignorance, just total absolute ignorance.

In my last post I mentioned I was married to a black man. We were married 15 years and had two children. As with most marriages, there were ups and downs, it was mostly a roller coaster ride actually, but I don't think the problems had anything to do with race.

Having grown up a little bit, then more and more, overweight, I know all too well how mean folks can be. It's always been so funny to me that people will assume I am an idiot, I mean who would let their weight get this out of control if they weren't, so when I find myself dealing with someone who thinks I'm stupid, I like to just shovel out all the rope they want. Before long, they've hung themselves because they assumed they knew something they didn't.

Then, when the little fat girl married a black man - oh my - you can imagine what was said. He was the only one I could get, black guys like fat girls, yada yada yada. I don't remember any of this ever coming out of the mouth of anything but a white man.

The uglist episode I think we ever encounted was one day, taking the kids to get pictures made. We had them all dressed and dolled up - and we weren't being slouchy ourselves. As we got out of the car and got them out of their carseats - there was a man, a woman, and three or four little kids coming out of Kmart. He had long hair, tattoos, she had dirty stringy hair, all of the kids were in some state of undress and none of them had on shoes. They didn't look like anyone had had a bath lately either. So Ronnie and I have our little spit polished jewels we're walking into the store and this man stops in the middle of the road and proceeds to tell his wife and kids what a damn shame we were. Then they go on their little hoopy car, put all the kids in the backseat with no carseats, and drive off. It was just surreal - it made no sense at all. Still doesn't.

And my mom's take on the marriage thing was "it could be worse - you could have married any one of those white boys you brought home".

Election Results & Bigotry

I think I started this entry, then left it for some reason. Anna was re-elected to the 16th! YEAH!! Karl Dean won - I'm fine with that. The council at large members - I'm ok with all but one - I don't particularly care for Charlie Tygard - I don't particularly care for most old white men - so he loses out by default.

It's my own problem I suppose, but of all the prejudice and bias I've ever been subjected to - either because my husband was black (God forbid!), my kids are biracial, I was overweight - it has always been at the hand and mouth of some old white man.

I went in a well known furniture store once, looking for new living room furniture. I was alone and looking at a patterned print I liked - he informed me that only "black" people bought that, I should be shopping on the other side of the store. He had no idea of course that I'd was about to marry a black man - and he continued on some racial slurs, all of which I can't remember because I was blinded by rage. Needless to say, I didn't buy anything. I have no clue what I said to the man, but as I turned to walk out, he was standing with his mouth hung open. I've only lost myself in anger a few times, this was one of them!

Ever notice that I go all around the world in my post - I just don't stay on subject very well do I? Well, my mind spirals out of control and I just can't help it!

Election Day (Again!)

Today is the runoff election in Nashville. We're are hopefully electing a Mayor, 4 at large council seats and 7 other undecided district council seats.

I didn't early vote this time - I lost track of time and it was over - so I'll go in just a few minutes to my usual polling place. It's kinda nice to go there, gives me a chance to see old friends from my old neighborhood and catch up with them.

I'll be anxiously waiting for 7:00 pm - I'll be on the computer to check totals from the early vote and watch as totals roll in.

No doubts to anybody around me who I'm supporting - I hope Karl Dean is the next Mayor, but I'll live with Bob Clement. My pics for at large at Megan Berry and Ronnie Steine, Jerry Maynard and Ronnie Greer. The most important election to me is the 16th district council seat. Anna Page is my pick. She has held the seat for only 9 months, but she has worked very hard and has been dedicated to improving this community for several years. Those things mean alot to me - my community has problems, whose doesn't, but I like a person who tries to address them instead of sitting around bashing folks because of them.

Well, my soapbox for today. Tune in tomorrow for election updates!!

Tales from a 1979 Buick Regal

Yesterday I went with a group of senior citizens from this area to see a production of Steel Magnolias. It was really good - everything took place in Truvy's shop so some of the dialogue changed for the scenery, but it still told the story and was very funny in all the right places. The matinee included a lunch buffet which was very good - dessert was cheesecake and RED VELVET CAKE WITH GRAY ICING!!

I really like to see live productions and/or live music. I think seeing musicians or actors perform in person brings so much more to their craft, and their product.

I think back to all the concerts I've been to - the big ones and the small dives where I went to watch my brother play. It was always so enjoyable - I love the atmosphere and the feeling of festival!

If you read my sister's post - you've read about the great Van Halen incident. My 1979 Buick Regal was a force to be reckoned with - I drove way too fast and the music was always blaring. I only had the factory stereo - I can imagine if I was 18 today what I'd have in a vehicle. I never hear "Running with the Devil" today without remembering in the pit of my stomach that sinking feeling when I heard that train whistle, while on the tracks, and could only think, "My God, I've killed Amy!".

And, I had to chuckle when Amy called to see if I'd seen Van Halen in concert - three times with David Lee Roth! Her next question was did I remember any of it? Those were the days!!

I am beginning to really be bothered by some hearing loss too - some of that's heredity from my dad's side of the family - the rest I can chalk up to Van Halen, Ted Nugent, Pat Travers, and Rush, along with all my regular favs that I cranked up.

Sometimes I dream about that little car - it represents the rite of passage for not only me, my brothers, Amy, but a host of other friends. I finally traded it after 7 years, 13 or 14 wrecks, 2 engines, at least 10 sets of tires, and numerous other things not countable (or mentionable!) I hope it's resting in peace somewhere!

This is one post I hope my children don't read!!

About Hogwarts

I first became aware of who Harry Potter was when my daughter, now 18, was in the 4th grade. Her teacher was reaching the first book "The Sorcerer's Stone" to them aloud in the class. Since she and some of her buddies were in my after school program, I'd here them discuss it and words like "muggle" and what it meant. Didn't even think about reading it myself - must be a kids book right?

A couple of years later I was reading Stephen Kings "On Writing". Now, to say that Stephen King is my favorite author of all times is a big understatement. I have one whole bookcase dedicated to him - own almost every movie on VHS - and working on a DVD collection. I even own a 8 x 10 glossy portrait of him that is not framd and hanging because that is where the kids drew the line. In their words, I was bordering on insanity or stalkerism, or both, and a framed picture of him hanging in our house would be the final step toward committment to a place I couldn't voluntarily leave. The picture is on the bookcase, hidden between two books, but don't tell them!!

Anyway, he'd listed, in the back of the book, what he'd read for the last year. Very impressive list, I'd say he reads 4-5 books a week, not bad at all! On the list was Harry Potter - the first three books. So, in my mind, if my literary hero had read them, why shouldn't I? By this time, Renee owned all three books so I borrowed the first one and began to read.

I finished it the next morning, read "Chamber of Secrets" that day and "Prisoner of Azkaban" the next. I was hooked! Since that time, the release of a Potter book has been a big deal at my house. I bought books 4 and 5 the day they were release, book 6 Renee and one of her friends picked up for me at midnight on release day and book 7 - Renee and Amy picked up all of our books at midnight of release day while they were attending the Potter Ball at the bookstore! You can refer back to my early blogs about reading book 7.

When the first movie came out, I took my two kids and my niece Meaghan to see it on the first night. I usually wait and catch the movies on DVD now, but my kids and Amy and her husband Ben see premier day!!

There is one bookshelf dedicated to Harry Potter in my house - all the books, #5 on tape, a Potter snowglobe, some figures, the movies, and Bernie Botts Beans! I'm quite sure some folks bought them to eat - mine are displayed and better never be missing from that shelf!

Harry Potter has brought a great deal of enjoyment to me and my family. It's been a joy to see converts within the family (Amy and Ben first, now Mitzi's niece Crystal). We have Potter Trivia games, calendars, screensavers, and ringtones. I even had a Potter birthday party for my 42nd!

It's hard to imagine life without a new Potter book to look forward to - we sitll have two more movies that will be fun to wait for.

If you've ever wondered, don't! Don't worry about the magic sending the wrong message - the story is just so good and everyone loves Harry, Ron, and Hermione so much.

Last Word on Tara!

OK OK - I need to address the Tara issue one last time (I think). Scarlett O'Hara became a hero to me - in the face of adversity she always rose to the occasion - even if her rising became quite scandalous! I like that, and wish I was a little more like her. She was probably the first real liberal woman I'd witnessed in action (besides my mom) and they both made a lasting impression. Both of them set a bar quite high - and I am grateful for that. If we don't set goals that require us to stretch, we become decrepid, rigor sets in, and we fade away to dust.

All that being said, I challenge you dear reader (I stole that phrase), to reach a little higher, set at least one goal that seems out of reach today, and don't let go of your dreams. Dreams can, and do, come true if you commit yourself and work hard!

After all, tomorrow is another day!

Tough!

The cutest thing I heard today - the song I'd written about earlier - "I Thought I was Tough" - my daughter has that has her ringtone for me! That says a lot - she and I never discussed the song - makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!!

On to something else - remember how I said I attracted folks with problems? From out of the blue this week, the ex husband called - not something that happens very often. AND, someone I thought I liked until I found out how crazy he really was surfaced again. It's like they run in cycles - you can bet if Ronnie (the ex) ever calls that Glenn (the psycho stalker) will surface shortly. There was a full moon earlier in the week - so that probably explains it. I just have to shake my head - neither of them stand a chance in hell around here!

Something good coming up Monday - I'm driving my son back to Memphis - which is kind of sad, but, it may be our last if not next to last trip! My daughter and I are going to stop at this scrapbook store - Eclectica - in Bartlett. I'm excited about it - they have a really cool website - and they have card and book kits each month. Maybe since we're getting their on the 3rd I'll be able to get them - they're having a 60% off sale today and tomorrow only - I'll miss that dang it!

Have a great Labor Day weekend!

Where does the time go?

Man, I didn't realize how many days had passed since I'd posted. I've been busy - or it seems like it anyway. My son was home for the weekend - that was very nice. He's making alot of progress and I believe he'll be back home fulltime before too much longer.

My daughter has settled into campus life pretty good I believe - she made it through the first week of classes and didn't skip any!! She's a good girl who probably wouldn't make that a habit - at least, I hope not!!

Right now, I'm looking forward to September 11 - the runoff election is that day. It's been fun but now it's tiring and I'm so ready for it to be over.

Who am I kidding? I've already jumped on Team Hillary - and our state representative will be running for re-election next year so I've already committed my time and energy to her for that campaign.

I have to say this - and I'll probably say it a million more times this year - if you are female and have ever had a relationship with someone who hurt you - even if only once - and you don't vote for Hillary, you are crazy! Just my opinion I know, but as a bitter ex-wife I think I have the right to say that all women should vote for her just to show the guys we can and will stick together.

They (men) get way too many miles out of women bickering and blaming each other when they're the ones that act like a dog! If wives and mistresses, who usually become mistresses because he has lied, teamed up and opened 55 gallon drums of whip-ass on his ass, we'd see alot of things change.

OK - I told you I was bitter!

And, for the record, Hillary is extremely intelligent and I believe she can pull it off.

I Love Nashville!

Last night I had to drive over to East Nashville to scope out a place I need to go next week - I usually do that because I like to know where I'm going and I don't like to be late, especially if I was driving around looking for the place!!

I drove over the newest bridge over the Cumberland River - I believe it's called the Korean War Vets bridge - it connects 1st Avenue and Shelby right by the Titans stadium. When you are on the bridge, the view of the city is gorgeous! You can see the river, the stadium, the new art sculpture, Riverfront Park, and most of the high rises. Quite a pretty site!

I realized right then that I love Nashville! Oh yeah, there are parts I don't like and we have some problems, but I can't imagine living anywhere else. It was a good thought for me - I'm part of a web based list serve for my city council district that usually has nothing but complaints and bickering - looking over at the city and feeling the way I did renewed my faith in my fellow man, even those on the list serve! It made me remember that I'm proud to be a Nashvillian and I'll probably stay right here until I die.

Liberal is not a four letter word!

Today I was reading this list of things about living in the South - it was great until I got to the last one - if you're not Republican, it said, just get the hell out!

Well, I'm not Republican and I ain't going nowhere! I don't know exactly when the word liberal became a four letter word, but I'm here to defend my position.

I am actually quite conservative in the way that I live and think. I believe everyone has the responsibility to get an education, get a job, and live within the means they can provide themselves. I believe everyone has a responsibility to register to vote the day they turn 18 and exercise that right every single time the polls are opened. That also includes finding out who the candidates are, what the issues are, and making a decision based on your own convictions that you can defend if you're asked about it. I believe each person has a responsibility for their own spirtuality - I personally believe in GOD and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but I respect your right to believe otherwise. I'm thankful I've never had to make a decision on abortion for myself, and pray daily for the women who face that decision and feel there is no other alternative.

I don't believe homosexuality is in accordance with God's plan or creation, but I choose to love each human as the Holy Bible directs us to do. I will stand, as each of us, alone, for my judgment day in front of God. I will have plenty to answer for myself, so I will pray for you, but you will have to answer for your own sins.

I'm proud, if you believe differently than me, that you know what you believe and WHY. I greatly respect the ones that have fought and died, have waged lengthy battles in legislatures, courts, and battlefields for us to be able to stand here today, possibly polar opposites, and still respect each other.

These are the things that make me a liberal - I won't apologize for them. I won't shove my beliefs down your throat or comdemn you for thinking otherwise - that's just the way things are. But, I will work with you to try and reach compromises or understanding so we can all live happily.

After all, it's still America!

Willpower

I've re-read my post about grit - it's really been on my mind alot lately. Since I have so much time to think!! This house is too quiet - even the cat is sleeping more than 22 hours a day!

Anyway, I can't chalk off everyone who has some failure in their life to not having grit or determination. My life has not always been easy, but most of that has been the results of my own decisions. There was a 15 year nightmare of a marriage - that alone could be multiple blogs - I'd never get thru writing. And, there've been the things that simply happened, the car wrecks (yes there were two), some physical problems with healing, etc. and the usual financial woes that go with being a working class person trying to raise kids.

I've made it thru all of these and at some point, things hadn't been nearly as bad as they seemed at the time. But, there is one battle I've waged very unsuccessfully - it's been a war, and I've been defeated, at least to this point. I'm referring to my weight. I am morbidly obese - I mean morbidididididly - most people who weigh what I do don't even get out of bed and yes, they've been on t.v.

I've seen the women who weighed 400 pounds in a wheelchair - at 400 pounds I was working fulltime running a childcare facility, keeping an eleven room house, and raising two kids plus dealing with the idiot.

Since the first wreck 8 years ago I've gained - mobility became an issue - then more weight lessened the mobility I had and it just goes in circles like a hurricane. And, I've reached Category 5.

Now that I have both kids settled somewhat (for a while - with kids you always have to be prepared for the bottom to fall out), I think the time has come for me to devote all my grit, determination, and this extra time to getting myself down to a healthy weight. I'm not sure exactly where this journey will take me - or what obstacles I may face - but one thing is for sure, it's going to be worth writing about!!

Strength

I heard a song last night - don't know who by or the name but it's a man singing about his wife and all the things she's done, including surviving breast cancer, and the refrain is something like "I thought I was tough".

Really got me to thinking about inner strength and drive. My mom always called it 'grit'. One day, not too long before she passed away, we were walking side by side going in somewhere and we were talking about still driving on no matter what life gave you. I'm sure it came up because neither of us looked or were moving like we needed to be up must less outside somewhere. She made a comment that people didn't realize how "tough us two old birds are".

I don't think I'd realized until then how tough I am. Not tough in a mean streetwise way - I've never mopped the floor with anybody - but tough with perseverance, determination and drive - grit.

And I thought about something else - folks who cave in, give up, have a 'woe is me' atittude, who whine and complain, whose glass is 'half empty' and those who become drug addicts, alcoholics, life long criminals - do they have grit?

Is it there and just untapped, or is is missing altogether? Something to ponder - I'm sure I'll write plenty more about this subject.

Scarlett O'Hara - now she had grit! Even though the sequel was decades in coming, who had any doubt at the end of GWTW that Scarlett wouldn't get Rhett back?

Let me know what you think!

She's Moving Out!

Today is the day! My daughter will move this afternoon to a college dorm room - just 4 miles down the street - but under a different roof than me for the first time in her life! She's been on trips, etc. we've just never 'lived' apart.

I am not sad. I may be in a couple of days - but right now I am so excited for her. College life is a whole new experience and she's ready for it. She has a job on campus and has already been working. She has already registered for all of her classes and the books are bought.

The living room is full of stuff to go - a new refrigerator and microwave, rolling storage carts, bed clothes, pillows, linens and clothes, clothes, clothes. She has two cork boards, one fully covered with pics from high school, home and friends, the other a calendar and room for the college stuff.

It will be different around here - very quiet for sure. The biggest change for me is the lack of things I need to do - her senior year was so busy and we were always on the way to or from somewhere. Then, all of a sudden, it's over. My fall calendar does not include all the band practices, band booster meetings, ballgames and competitions, club meetings, days out of school, play practice, doctor appointments, deadlines to have things paid for!!, etc.

I haven't been into her room, but I don't think there's too much left in there. When I feel like I'm about to break down later this week, I'll go in there, sit on her bed, and cry it out. Then I'll be fine!

Heat!

Man is it hot in Nashville! We hit 100 degrees yesterday, 102 today and it's supposed to be 103 tomorrow. I'm staying inside - mostly. I did have to go to the bank today and because of that critical need, I went outside. It was miserable. I have asthma and some heart irregularities - between the two of them I wouldn't last too long out there! I'm so grateful for my central air unit and say a prayer for it everyday - next month I'm sure I'll be praying about the electric bill, but that gets the Scarlett treatment - I can't think about that today!

Movies

YES! Saturday finally got here. It was a very busy week and it's been so very hot here that it really took a toll on me. The temperature probably wasn't as bad, but the air quality in Nashville right now is so poor because we've not had any rain to speak of this summer. The forecast for the coming days is worse - we expect to hit 98-99 degrees every day this week. I doubt that my nose will be outside at all!!

Today I've been catching up on movies. I've watched "The Break-Up". It was ok - some things hit a little close to home so I'll rate it a 6 because I like Jennifer Anniston. I watched "The Stepford Wifes". I give it a 5 and only because I like Nicole Kidman. I tried to watch "One Early Morning" - I may even have the name wrong. I like Ashley Judd but I just didn't enjoy this one at all. I ended up getting on the phone and talking thru the last 30 minutes - maybe it gets better and I don't know it.

Anyway, most movies do not entertain me. I find that they drag in the middle and I'm wishing they'd end already. I don't usually go to the movies - it's just too much money to pay and feel mediocre about the what you've spent $10.00 to see. I've always liked the books way better (if there is a book) and movies are a poor second to the written word.

Maybe I just need to look for better movies!

Election Day

Yesterday was Election Day in Nashville. We were voting for a mayor, vice mayor and our entire city council. Some fields were crowded, some folks ran unopposed. We have a new vice mayor for sure, and 5 at large seats on the council. There'll be a runoff for the office of Mayor and for the councilseat for the district I live in.

I'm supporting the incumbent and have actually done some work to help her - the tally was so close at the end of the night - only about 20 more votes could have avoided the runoff - I have to think what if I'd spend 2 more hours doing something!!! I don't know if anybody else will think that way - it's probably just part of my accept responsibility for the world personality.

Anyway, we'll take the weekend to back up and regroup and start Monday working toward September 11, date set for the runoff elections. I have some extra signs in my van - can I put one in your yard?

New Lists

Today I changed some of the lists in my blog. I've added a list of things that really tic me off - in fact, I could probably make a whole new blog and post daily on the latest, newest thing that has ticked me off, but I won't (right now).

I've just been irritated the last few days beyond words. For one, I have a hard time moving around. And when I'm done for the day, I'm just done. That's it - I'm wiped out and there's nothing else to do but get parallel to the mattress and rest. On more than one occasion (the latest being Sunday) I've found myself in this state when somebody (and yes they are people I know!!) starts knocking on my back door like the house was on fire.

I chose to ignore them - I hadn't invited them over and they hadn't called, when they start yelling, etc. because they think I may be inside and unable to get to the door. (Duh)

I suppose I should appreciate the concern and let it go, but, the pain of getting up, getting redressed, putting the cat up because they're scared of him, walking to the door, and letting in guests I didn't want to see far outweighs any appreciation I've been able to summon.

There wasn't anything critical that needed tending to - they just wanted to visit and wanted my opinion about a project they'll be working on this fall. They really are nice people and I'm going to tell them in a nice way not to ever show up again unless I know plenty in advance they're coming - I just have to calm down another day or two before I talk to them.

You know, blogging is like great therapy and it costs so much less!!

Beginnings

I think I should start explaining the title and it's significance.

To begin with, I was the oldest child of 4. Both of my parents had been the oldest too - so that makes me the first grandchild on both sides. My mom had 1 sister and my dad had 6 brothers and 1 sister. I was the only granddaughter on mom's side until my little sister Amy was born almost 13 years later, and the only granddaughter that my dad's father ever knew. Of all those brothers, a couple never had children and the ones that did are way younger than me.

Is the picture making sense? Do you see a little spoiled girl coming along? All of these people treated me like a princess, especially the uncles and my mom's sister who didn't have any girls of her own. She was always buying me things, purses, jewelry, panty hose (way before my mom did).

The winter break after Amy was born, when I was 13, I read "Gone with the Wind". It was an amazing read - and right off the bad I identified with Scarlett. I mean, wouldn't you rather be Scarlett than Nellie Olson? Anyway, Scarlett's influence has always been there and not always been a good thing, but, not always bad either!! More about the "Scarlett factor" as we go along.

Just for the record, there was never any jealousy over Amy - she was like a real live baby doll to me then. Now she is an amazing woman, beautiful and talented, and the best friend and sister anyone could ever have!!

Harry Potter Spoilers (well a couple)

YEAH!! Amy and Meaghan have both finished the book!

Now, Harry doesn't die - remember what I said about good wins out in the end! I believe that whole heartedly.

And Severus wasn't bad - he did die, poor thing, but his memories helped Harry (and us) to understand what had happened and why.

The best part of me was the epilogue (19 years later) - Harry and Ginny are sending their second child, Albus Severus, off to Hogwarts while Ron and Herminone are sending their oldest child off. Even Draco Malfoy was standing on the platform sending off a child.

I believe we can say they all lived happily ever after!!

AND, I predict that somewhere in the next 8-10 years those in the education field will see an influx of boys named Albus and Severus starting school.

AND, I don't want grandchildren for a few more years, but IF I get consulted about a name, well you know!

People Watching

This morning I went to early vote - we're electing a new mayor and entire council later this week. I wanted to be sure and vote early so as not to stand in too much of a line.

I don't walk around too well - I still have to tell that story - so on my way out of the library I sat down on the bench by the door. I must have sat there at least 30 minutes just watching folks come in and out. Most people acknowledged me by nodding or speaking. I tend to think that's because 1 - Nashville is a pretty friendly city and 2 - I don't think I look dangerous or unapproachable. The second is worth several posts - I think I'm a magnet sometimes for folks who have problems. Anyway, that's another day!

It does my heart good to see parents with their children at the library. If you can read, you can find out everything about everything!! There were many young families coming in and out, bringing in one stack, leaving with another. These children are the future - they must know how to really read!

The other thing I notice alot are shoes. I've always loved shoes. When I was young and single, I had a pair for just about every outfit I owned. I've had the 4 inch heeled Candies that I walked up Mt. Charlotte in and I've had the slip on flats in every color they were made in - I just like shoes.

Now, my feet are definitely the weakest part of my physical being. They've been broken up and patched up. It's hard for me to find shoes that will allow me to walk as well as I can and that don't cause any more pain to two appendages that scream in agony most of the time anyway. So I tend to pay attention to what other folks are wearing on their feet.

It is summer and quite warm so there were lots of sandels. I noticed many many folks wearing Birkenstocks. That's my shoe of choice now, the deep ankle bed gives me the support I need and my toes don't get scrunched up. If you don't own a pair, try them!

I notice too a lot of Crocs - I still haven't bought a pair of these but several of my feet challenged friends have recommended them.

I noticed several people whom I believe had aching feet because of the shoes they had on. I've done this in the past, had to look good no matter how bad it hurt! Take it from me - this will be the best piece of advice I'll ever give anybody - keep your feet happy! Do not worry what a shoe looks like (really!!!), just wear something that fits and doesn't hurt. Your life will be longer and you'll definitely be a much pleasanter person if your feet don't hurt!!

Happy Walking!

Big Lunch Plans

Today I am meeting a group of former coworkers for lunch at Panera. I'm excited - I've never eaten at Panera before. We're going down by the Vanderbilt campus, one of my favorite places in town. It should be a lot of fun.

One of Renee's friends came home Wednesday night from a two week journey through Germany. He brought a bar of REAL German CHOCOLATE!! I've never tasted anything quite like it - I don't know if I can ever eat any other chocolate again, it is that good! I can't imagine life without chocolate so I'm sure I'll buy other stuff, just right now, I want to savor every little sliver of this bar.

Harry Potter 7 - No Spoilers Here

OK - I'm dying here. No one I know has finished the book and I'm dying to discuss it. All I can say to them is I was satisfied with the ending. But, it won't be long I know before we'll have a roundtable!! Hang in there - as soon as they're done reading - I'll post what I think about it all!

Finished in just under 9 hours!

Yes - I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in just under 9 hours of reading! It's a good read!

It started out a little confusing - it did not pick up exactly where Half Blood Prince had ended, and I guess I thought it would. But, it's easy enough to catch up to the time diference.

I did find it a little slow during the pages 200's - I'm not sure if it was the book or it was just me. But, I knew it would pick back up to the pace I was expecting!

I've decided not to put spoilers in this post - I think I'll wait until about Tuesday or Wednesday - I need to give those readers I discuss it with a chance to finish up!!

Just one hint - don't believe any of the hype about two (2) people dying!

One last ride on the Hogwarts Express!

Today is the day! Book 7 comes out at midnight - I'm sure I'll be sleeping BUT my sister, daughter, and nieces will be at the Grand Hallows Ball enjoying the festivities, drinking Butterbeer, and picking up the books Amy so graciously reserved for all of us.

I've reminded Renee (my daughter) that we have to get some snacks and Diet Coke for tomorrow. There'll not be any cooking or anything else until I know for sure what happens to Harry and the gang.

I don't know what to expect - I realize either Harry or Voldemort must die. My "glass half full" outlook and my own convictions tell me that good always triumphs over evil and that Harry will survive to go on and live a very happy and full life.

I mean, didn't Scarlett? And it took years for us to know what the rest of the story was!

Have a Potter weekend!!

Only One More Day!

Yes - tomorrow night at midnight my daughter will be in line at the local Borders to pick up my copy of the 7th Harry Potter book! I will home sleeping, but as soon as I wake up Saturday I will begin to read and probably won't stop until I'm done. This has been my MO for the last 3 Potter books - I didn't get in on the Harry Potter phenomenon until the third book had come out.

I am very excited - I refuse to even search for anything Potter online right now because I do not want to know until I get to it myself what happens.

There are at least 3 others in my family who'll be reading all day Saturday and Sunday - we've agreed we will not discuss the book until we are done - no calling and saying "Guess what's going to happen?".

While there are people who believe that the Harry Potter books should not be allowed, etc. because of the witchcraft or wizardy involved, I am not one of them. The story itself about a child being orphaned, mistreated by the only blood family he has, befriended by so many others who loved and adored him, those are all very important things. The books are well-written and the story has been wonderful - I hope I still feel this way Monday!!

Have a Potter Weekend!

Rain

Today I am longing to wake up in the morning to rain on the roof and a day so cloudy and dark it looks much like the sun didn't even come up. I want to lay there a few minutes, listening to the rain, and fall back asleep for an hour of the best sleep I've ever had.

My grass is brown, my flowers are all just dead, and water supplies are beginning to be affected in Teneessee by the drought. We need the rain, I'm just missing those mornings when I can enjoy that part of nature by not having to get up and go out to school or work.

The forecast for this week includes 30-50% on rain everyday - how blessed I'd feel if one of those 30 percenters happened to be in the early AM.

One Busy Woman

Today is Sunday - I've just returned home from church and have a full day to accomplish. Our Vacation Bible School starts tomorrow - I'm teaching the adults. It's always fun and while I don't have to do as much as those who have the children, I try to make the room inviting and plan some fun activities for us.

I tend to overextend myself - I call it the "I can't say no" problem. Right now, there's VBS this week, I'm working on an oral history project that lasts until at least next March - and I have a summer intern for that to keep busy and supervise, I'm helping an old schoolmate in her re-election campaign for a city council position, I'm helping another friend put together her business plan in accordance with SBC requirements to get a loan to go into business for herself, I help my brother with his own personal business from a bookkeeping standpoint. There are "Project Stacks" all over my house.

I am the mother of two teenagers, one about to go to college and the other struggling to find himself and be at ease with who he really is - being a mother is all the job I need, but as I said, I am unable to say no when folks ask me for help. I think I must like it when they tell me I'm smart and they trust my judgement and opinions. Those are valuable things to hear from friends.

When I get time, I plan on completing my children's scrapbooks from childhood and school and I have a couple of craft/sewing projects I've invested some time and money into, but have neglected because of my other committments.

And, to top all of this off - I find myself very physically challenged. I'll cover more about that in future blogs - I don't want you to stop reading because I go on and on and on!!

Have a great day!

First Day

OK - it's my first day to blog! I'm very excited - my sister Amy started a blog a couple of weeks ago and I've enjoyed reading her posts. I had a hard time deciding on a name for my blog - I've ended up with "From Tara to Hogwarts". I tried to think of a name that could somehow begin a description of who I am and influences that have shaped the person I am. I'm sure most of you know about Hogwarts Scho0l of Witchcraft and Wizardy- Tara was the home of Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind". Big difference - maybe, maybe not!

I have a lot to say, I hope you come along for the ride!